Living Life.Ann.

An ending.

2010-03-17T03:25:00.000-07:00

This have been part of my life for almost 4 years. I kept part of my memories here just to remind me that life is so short that each steps that i chose have definitely make an important impact in my life. Now that my high school days are over, i choose to look forward and move on. I learned a lot from those experiences and it has changed me to become a better person now, and to not take things for granted. I believe that its better to regret to do things than to not to do it at all. I thank God for helping me to survive until today with my love ones on my side. I now decided to leave this to create another great memories as i move on to new stage of life. I cherish what i have here and just to read back everything in here makes me smile. 'Cause i now realise that i am capable on achieve things if only i put my whole heart into it. And the best thing is, i know those who have been on my side all this while. I am going to miss & remember all this. This marks an ending of LIVING LIFE. But yet, an ending is the start of another new beginning.
With this, i'm officially moving to

http://ann-ness.tumblr.com/

Thanks, people. :)

The countdown starts.

2010-03-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

It is comfirmed.
SPM RESULTS WILL BE OUT ON 11TH OF MARCH.
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
6 days to go starting from today. And, i am scared. I hated it more when people say to me that i'm gonna do fine. Well, what if i'm NOT?! Damn ann, why would you even think that? *Knock wood, knock wood, knock wood*. I seriously can feel my heartbeat goes dup dap dup dap.
Aaaarrghhhhhh, i'm scareeeeeeedddddddddd.
I have to chill. I did my best, righht? Yes, i did.
Pretty please God.
The nerve is really getting into me. Its all i think about. Stopppppp.
Another reason for me to feel even more down for my bornday.

March, baby.

2010-03-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

Gosh gosh gosh. Its March already. Oh yes, it is usually my favourite month of the year. Why? Easy. Cause its the month when i get older. Nothing special happens on my day actually. I never really celebrate it. I never make it as a big deal. Just to see who remembers. They usually say that those who remember are the ones who usually cares. I dont know if it's true thou. It just that when it is my birthday, it feels like such a blessing to live another year for another great memories. It sound so emotional, i know that, but it just feels that way. The sense of gratitude.

Flash backs during previous years, at March, it was when i usually got tanned. That means that i'm still having my sport season, checking in hostel for training and going somewhere for tournaments. I still am but obviously not for MSSM, not anymore. I also had to balance my time well for my studies because this month was also the start off for examinations. I get darker & thinner, because of the lack of rest and sleep. Those were during the school days.

2010's March. What to expect? A lot.

Of course, me being 18 is something to look forward too. But the most waited moment to be dreaded about is non other than SPM result.
YES. SPM RESULT!!!!!!

After that, i have to start thinking of further studies.
Where i head to next? When exactly? What to pursue?

All this questions in my mind is still waiting for it answers. I'm scared, anxious, worried. This mixed feelings is getting on to my nerves. And i even talk to myself. Talk to God. For real. I prayed.
"God, i don't care if my birthday sucks. All i wish for is that i will get SPM results with flying colours. It will all worth it."
But then, i know i worked hard for it. I just don't know if it's good enough. So, i should be grateful with whatever i get. Because i struggle really,really hard. I'm not the only one. I'm sure most of us did our best. I just have to be patient for a little time more. It is so soon anyway. So now, 18 alert! The day after tomorrow.

18=Key to adolescence stage of life.

Roadtrip

2010-02-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

A trip out from KK was definitely a break that i need. A break from a whole lot of chaos that happened in my life lately. Fresh air out of the city, especially with great buddies, have always been the best cure for most people including myself. I had a blast, guys.

We should do this again sometimes.

So......... Next stop.
MT. KINABALU.
:)

The V-Day.

2010-02-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

Valentine wasn't so bad for me this year. Yea, yea. It changed from 'in a relationship' term last year to 'it's complicated' term of relationship this year. To some people, it might look sad but to me, it's just another chapter of life that i want to get over with. Another fresh start i hope. And you guys know exactly what i mean by that. After all, seeing somebody but you know that you dont want to be tied to a so-call-relationship yet is soooooooo typical.

My 'Valentine' (notice the inverted comas) this year is non other than my guy bestfriend. Woozie.

It turned out that the spark of his life got work on V Day, and as we suppose to meet the next day, the day that he's going back to kampung with his family, so we hang out on that day instead. After i come back from kampung. It's been awhile since we got to spend time with each other and i got to say i do miss him a lot.

The fact is it is always easy to be around him, i dont really have to behave like a true girl. I can just be disgusting and not ashamed of it. But still, no matter how, i know he sayang me.
That day, we just watched a movie, and acted as we're a couple, taking the couple seat. Then we just walked around, get coffees and catched up on life. There's once he said that
"You do know that people like us always started as best friends first then they ended up liking each other at the end and got together?"
I could only just laughed. I just replied that it is quite imposibble for things like that to happen between us. But let's just follow the flow and be best friends for now.
Come on. He's in love with one of my girlfriends. We even tried to find a gift for her but too bad, most of the shops were closed on account of Chinese New Year. Hey, it's the thought that counts, righhtt? Don't worry Wooz, you make an effort. Debs think it is hilariously sweet, isn't she?

I sayang you, Woozie. Knowing you for almost 8 years has been really great. You're one awesome friend. You might just not realize that.

Well, well, well.
Happy Valentine's Day to all.

Just a wrong feeling to have.

2010-02-06T00:06:00.000-08:00

I feel so pathetic now.
All thanks to you.
Haihhhhh.
It just that........
It is so dissapointing that i wanted to tell you so many things and all i can do is..................

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
shut up.

Now, i just need to do something. To feel great.
Because if i don't, i ended up thinking about crappy things that i shouldn't be thinking about.
And plus, my sayang was too busy to hear to my craps.
Bah siapa laa baa saya ini kan?
It such a bad, bad feeling to have." Gosh Ann, what a loser."

And guess what?
I couldn't even deny that. Sighhhhhhhh.

Fractions of recollections in my mind.... ohhh BWR

2010-02-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

Well..........
BLACK & WHITE RAINBOW THEATHRE IS OVER.
For real. I can't believe it at first. Yet, after the last show's done, everyone, the team were jumping and hugging each other.
We did it, guys!
After two months of hard work and sleepless night, it's finally over. We got all the positive responses for our theathre. Thanks to those who come and support us. We can't say enough how grateful we are to all of you. To the team, you don't know how much i miss all of you. The time we fool around, have fun. I mean all those memories are simply something to be cherished.

So now Kundasang laa kan, guys? Gosh, i cant wait.
Ohh. I almost forgot. BWR DVD IS ON SALE NOW.
BUY FROM ME! It is a must have.

When two become one.

2010-02-01T15:51:00.000-08:00

It was like a joke when my mum asked me weeks before.
"Ann, do you want to become one of the bridesmaid during Uncle Boy's wedding?"
When i heard that, i thought that it must be a joke. She know well enough i've never like to be part of all this things.
But but but.....
When i about to said no, she said that Uncle Boy asked for my favour personally. Since all the other bridesmaid is from her wife-to-be side. How can i say no, righhhhttt?
So, i just said yes then.
When the week of their wedding finally arrived, my mother & myself went for the wedding rehearsal at Stella Maris Church on Wednesday. My mother happened to be one of the witness. Aunt Victoria wished her to be. We reached there, and meet the family.
Yeaayy, Uncle Jerry is also one of the best man. At least he's there for company, righhttt? So, we rehearse & waited for the big day for the couple to come.
The day comes and i finally wear a purple dress that the briesmaid required to wear. At church. i finally meet up the uncles & aunt that i dont get to meet for the long time. Marilyn ( the youngest aunt in the family & didnt call her aunt because our age gap not so far) were on study break from her uni in Australia. Uncle Jason who just got married & Uncle Ian, both just come from KL too.
So, at last they said their 'i do's'. :D

Uncle Jonathan & Aunt Victoria.
Finally husband & wife.

Uncle Jerry & me. :)

The pictures say it all.

I'm glad Woozie came to the reception. At last i get to hang with him after didnt see him for quite some time. Once again, a big, big CONGRATS to Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Victoria.
New cousins,please?? :pp

The BLACK & WHITE RAINBOW Theathre is going on.

2010-01-25T16:40:00.000-08:00

The first week of the theathre is done and there are 3 more shows to go.
Whhoaahh.............
It was going on really good. To know that we're finally start on the shows after two months of busy preparation, it was really a good feeling. We worked really hard for this.
Going to schools, sleepless night, energy and time, not forgeting no time for socialising stuff, you seriously have no idea. Then, when you think about the positive side on it, to get to spent time and hang around, it worth the hard work and tiredness.

Budak-budak baru habis SPM.

Most of my peeps will be coming for the upcoming shows. It would be nice to meet most of them again. It is seriously hard to keep in touch. Even with facebook or handphones. After this theathre, i will take time to chill and relax with friends. Also focus on driving lessons. And mayb, JUST MAYBE find a job. I'm trying not to rely much on my parents. Just hope whatever i'm planning to do going well laa.

Gaaawwwdd, mind. Stop thinking.

2010-01-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to sleep. But i just can't.
What's the time already? 12.13 am.
I just cant sleep.
I mean, i am SUPPOSE to be tired because of the longgg day today.
But then, here i am, in front of my note book and wasting my time on it. I guess i am just thinking too much. Thank goodness to Lalitha and Sarah for the conversation we had earlier.
Then they hit the sack, i'm still here figuring about why i am thinking soo much about everything that is happening around me. The eyebags is gonna stay permanent if i keep on staying late like
this.
Hmm, part of my thoughts is education. I feel that i am so certainly sure with what i want to pursue. It is still gonna be life science. Unlike most of my groupies who would go for law.
I'm just partly worried about this.
And also....................

YOU.

Stop being super nice to me 'cause it will never change the way i think about you.
You're just a friend and a good friend indeed. I really would like to keep it that way.
It makes feel guilty to see you and to know that you've try hard for something that is not worth it.
You know it and just dont let me say it again. It keep bothering me.
Just stop. Stop trying.

I'm really trying to start fresh here. How i wish i know where to start.........

Hanging out with my peeps

2010-01-16T22:27:00.000-08:00

Oh yes.

Finally i got to meet up with my gangs after not seeing them for quite some time. All thanks to Keith for planning and informing everyone. Well NOT everyone able to show up for some reasons. What to do laa kan.
Despite the rain, it was a good picnic. We have a good time, just hanging out & catching up on each other. It is always fun to spent time this people.

My girlfriends :D

There's some silly joke here. But i have no idea what.

My babes, kan guys? ahahhaha :p

The acoustics from Ralphy make it merrier
My guy best friend. :)

*Sighs* I seriously miss you guys laa. Now with some of us started working, study & also some with other own programs, who know when are we going to hang out again. All of us. :(
Everyone is like going everywhere now and doing their own thing. Not that i'm not happy with the fact that you guys are doing something with your life. Believe me, i am.
The point is to keep in touch and catch up on each other. We will baa, kan? :D

Sooooooo........

It will be a long, long week this week. Going to Seri Insan later with the guys to do a workshop for the students. Theathre starting this weekend.
Trying to make it to Convent's Sports Day this saturday too. Not forgetting workouts and trainings for the upcoming tournament.
Gosh and i thought i will be so free...

5 Pure Science, Class of 2009. Convent.

2010-01-14T21:18:00.000-08:00

I came across this picture just few minutes ago.
It make me walk down the memory lane. It bring back all the high school memories.
Can you guess which one is me? I'm at the end of the left side. The one who's laughing. Pretty cute huh? :D
I forgot who drew this. Is it Lee Wei, guys? Or Gerald?
Oh well, i seriously am missing my class.
5 Pure Science. Class of 2009.
Most of us have been classmates for 5 years. And you guys have definitely rock my high school life.
I knew some of them have continue their studies, some are working and some are staying at home, being lazy bums. I just hope no matter where you are, you will find success in your way.
For sure, this chapter of life that we shared will always and always be remembered.
I'm waiting for a reunion. We should have a reunion with our beloved form teacher, Mr Ramlih.

"5ST rocks my socks." No doubt about that.

What's up to me now?

2010-01-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

With the 2010 startoff, it is supposingly to be a new school semester for most people. Not me thou. At least not yet. I'm just pretty much occupied with the Black & White Rainbow theathre & workout lately. Thank goodness for that. If not, boredom could kill me literally. After all, i don't want to go all sleep.eat.TV. all the time during this free time i have. 'Cause i'll ended up become gumuk. And is highly possible for high school leavers. So, better resist now than later. :D

With the theathre stuff going on, i've been hanging out with the guys a lot lately. I've thought of my girlfriends and i've freakin miss them. Sorry girls, will catch up with you guys soon k. I just hope we got to spend to our quality time together before everyone really heading to their own way of college life. Yeah. College. Even my sayang goes college already. It will be my turn soon.

And yeah what's wrong with people lately?

I can't help not to feel bad about it. I mean, come on.
Burn churches now, then what war?!
I feel sick for those people who do it. Religions is all about good things. It taught us to even respect other religions. Just because of one word, you wanna make a big deal out of it.
Screw those people. Screw 1 Malaysia.
Don't get me wrong. I just blame those people who can't just give it a rest & live peacefully.
Dissapointing. Very, very dissapointing.

A great 2009

2010-01-03T23:56:00.000-08:00

I'm back.

Blogging, i mean. Since i am officially done with high school. I pretty much kill my own blog. But i guess you guys can understand with me busy with SPM & stuff. Wait!what is SPM again? Hehehehh. :D

2009 have been a great year for me.

And why you ask? Well, it has been a tough year for me mentally and physically and it was much, much tougher compared to my previous high school years. But yet, i managed to pull through and survived until today. I simply have learned a lot of things throughout my days as a Franciscan and i also gain memorable experiences that i would never ever forget. Frankly, part of miss high school a lot but big part of me really glad that i'm over high school for real. I am now looking forward for new beginnings that that i believe i will find in college life. Sooooo.....
Bye Convent.

2009 have bring such an impact in my life.
I try new things.
I met new people in life.
I create a stronger bond with them.
The best thing is....

I am a BETTER person than what i am before.

I admit that i make mistakes but I learn from it to become better. That's how things suppose to be, right? When i ponder back deeply about everything that had happened, i am now 100% sure that i have no regrets in making all those mistakes. Because if i don't, then i wouldn't be able to learn and grow up. And i have this people to thank for making my 2009 such a great year. It's been a pleasure creating great memories with all of you & we have years to come to create more.

My small family.

My girlfriends and boyfriends. :p

My mates.

My 'budak-budak'

Jacky.

And finally, my soul sister. :)

I SAYANGG YOU GUYS SOOO DAMN MUCH.

We had fun, right??
Now, cheers to 2010. I have my own resolutions for this year but seriously, i don't really know what to expect this year. I'm hoping for a great SPM results. And not forgetting, my education life after that. Which means, new environment, new friends and new aim. For the time being, i'm just gonna go along with my workout & training routines and also helping with the BLACK & WHITE RAINBOW Theathre. Just helping and NOT acting. Get tickets from me. Heheheheh :D

Happy back to school, kids. :))

Form 5, 2009. Before retiring. :)

'NERD' MODE. ON.

2009-08-28T05:28:00.000-07:00

Its funny how imagination can bring you far from the real world. I am pretty vain to be amused with my own dreams that can bring me far from the real world that i'm stepping on. It just makes me smile. But to know that i might never get the chance to grab it, it's just pretty much dissapointing. Yet, i am still not giving up on those dreams despite that it is a fact that it is just too good to come true.
When walking down on the memory lane, it's just funnily weird to bumped to this people and to know that you used to be close to this person. You remember the times you used to share almost everything with him, and yet to see how it turned out to be now, it just so sad. One good thing for sure that have occured is we simply have move on with our own life.

I am so happy to get to see her today. I miss her badly and i'm glad to spent time with her. It's not always you can see her in KK.

Well, EXCEL is going to start soon for the whole three weeks.

I am already turning the 'NERD' mode on which also means that you not going to see me around surfing the net too much. This can be very addictive actually and i'm not gonna let myself become too attuned to it. I am rather called 'geek' nowadays than to be updated with the latest news of anything. I am actually not even bothered on how i looked like nowadays.

And come to think about it,

SPM IS IN 2 MONTHS!!

Ok, i am not stressed. Just worried.
I really need to hold on to myself now 'cause i can be very RANDOM about stuff especially when the 'SASATNESS' started to rush in my blood.

I WANT A'S!!

I wanted to go to the beach and shouted that.

See, isn't the sea so beautiful?
You feel so calm to be there.
SIGGHHHHHHHH.........
Me. Random again.

Well, i'm off to study now. I'm not gonna online much for quite some time now. Maybe sometimes during the weekends just to get rid of the boredom and the 'geekness' for a while.

ADIOS!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

2009-08-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

ERIC!! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!
You are turning 16 today, brother.
Another new chapter in life.
And yea, you're growing taller & taller each day.
But then, no matter what, you will always be my little brother.
Too bad you're in camp thou, we can't celebrate your sweet 16. At least i got to give your birthday hug before you enter the camp.
So, here is my 'little' brother, RYN RODERICK.
Its RYN, people. Not RYAN. :p
M only brother who supported me all the way, althought we always fight like cats and dogs.
He's the one who cheered my name when i was on the track,
or when i was on the netball game against his own school.
The one who goes to my room where we can talk all night long and shared some little things that we couldn't bear to tell our parents.
You even skipped school to support me during my 'retirement' day.
You don't know how glad i am to tell people on that day,
that you're my 'little' brother, the only brother that i have, who somehow was there to cheered me all the way during my rought times..
Thanks, Rick and remember that,
YOUR SASAT SISTER SAYANG YOU!! :)

On the road...

2009-08-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Were so damn bored when we were on our going back to Papar. Daydreaming, listening to music and until we become craazzzyyyy..
Seems like he's on a good mood today to be sasat with me...
I was also thinking what to get him for his BIG SWEET 16 day next week...
Any ideas??

Start studying...........

2009-08-14T00:17:00.000-07:00

I am somehow motivated with what he told me just now. He makes me thought about my perspective of life in a different way. I guess he was right. Her daughter is real lucky to have a father like him, who will support her in whatever she do in life. Of course all fathers are like that. Yet, when we were looking in my class just now, he was saying something about how most of my friends in our class will surely make plans about studying medical and how most of their fathers might have push their girls to study really, really hard. But he added that everyone want and have to study hard to be successful in life, yet life is not all about becoming successful. There's no meaning in life if you're just successful and you didnt get to enjoy it and be happy. He is so right about that. Its not all about becoming rich and earning a lot of money. Whatever we do, we must really do enjoy it and be satisfied with what you have.Parents should always be supportive and let everything flow on its own. Eventually it will all work out. I'm just glad that my parents never give me much pressure, just continous love and support in everything i do.

As for me, i am still clueless about what i really want to be in life. I don't even know where i should continue to go on for further studies next year.
Do you know that SPM is in 95 day???
Goshhhh... And trials would be in 2 weeks, right after holidays. I am worried but surprisingly, i'm not that worried. Should i be scared with that?? I don't know. My holidays will be all about study, study and constant STUDY. See the picture up, up there?? It should be like that. Continous study but never forget that we still have a life to live.

This is what i should do, isn't it??

Books should be my bestfriends now. There should be in my mind no matter what after this. I'm not gonna play around too much. Time seems to be really, really precious now. See, it's weekend already. SPM students should be really wise with time management now. Dont you agree with me??
I need chocolates :p

Momoy send me this picture. Just looking at it make me miss them even more. Hope to see them after SPM.
Me. Love them.

After SPM...

2009-08-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

While on the way going back to kampung last night in the car, my mind was wandering about lots and lots of stuff. It reached one point where i thought about what i wanna do after SPM. Its a wholesome of freedom to me when that time comes and i have maybe around three months waiting up for my SPM result. Unless i decided to got myself into IS for A Levels which it wouldnt be top of my further studies list yet. It's been real rough on me this year and i am so looking forward on having new experiences of fun and also embarking new journey in my next stage of life. But i do have some plans during the whole three months of 'ahh, result,result'. No doubt that i'm gonna dread for my result but i still wanna do something. So here is it

MY PLANS AFTER SPM ( DURING THAT 3 MONTHS DREDING SPM RESULT) :

1 SCUBA DIVING!!!!

This is the first thing that i thought about and really wanna do after SPM. Matt owe me this. I always curious about SCUBA diving and wanted to try myself. Imagining myself in that sea with all this sea creatures... See how imagination can be really weird... Somehow it looks really scary being there, in the bottom. Yet curiosity and amusement overwhelmed me. At least i have one diver who's ready to help me out :)

2 TAKE DRIVING LESSONS & GET A LICENSE!!!!!

Its funny this isn't the first thing that came up to my mind of what i wanna do after SPM. I have always thinking of getting the lessons now 'cause i already started up going for the seminar and took up the computer test. But then, something about Dad said...... "Later, you jalan only that. You don't study.." Right, whatever you said, Dad. Just not worth my energy to argue. But once i get my license, you'll see.....

3 CLIMB MOUNT KINABALU!!

Owh yes, i don't care, i don't care how how hard it takes. I'm still gonna climb it no matter what. It a-must-thing to do after SPM. If i have to go for crazy workouts after this just to climb it also, i would. It's in our freakin state laaa. I'm SOOOOO gonna climb it. Mt Kinabalu, you just wait.

4 TRAVELLING!!

It's in my list,yet i dunno if i get the chance to do it. It's more to have fun going around places and to get out from KK just for a little while after a rough year. A vacation should be niceeeee...

5 HANGING OUT WITH BUDDIES!!

I know after SPM, we'll go separate ways to study. We gonna take our own path to get what we want to be in life. That's one of the main reason why we're gonna spend time and hang out more, even just to do little and simple stuff. Watch movies, window shopping or maybe even just to go for breakfast in the morning..

6 PLAY & TRAIN NETBALL!!

I never going ever to stop play netball because it's just in me. I still have tournaments next year and that why i will continue on training and enjoy playing it. I'm also going to help with the 'Kem Bakat' for netball at Papar next year for little kids. At least something for me to occupy my time with too.. Another reason would be to stay on shape. People tend to gain weight during the whole three months because of too much resting at home and eating all the time. I'm gonna bear in mind to keep on being fit because i like to be one.

6 READING..

And of course, reading great novels after this.. This is when i'm at home or anywhere, doing nothing and feeling bored. I always love reading and hopefully i'm capable of getting myself a lot of new books to read for the leisure time. After SPM...

And owhhh yea, before i forgot..........

7 LOOK FOR A NEW LAPTOP FOR ME!!

Well, mum did say of getting a new laptop for me since i'm going for further studies and all. Mini laptops in mind so that i can bring anywhere i go, even to Starbucks. Easier and lighter. Gosh, i can't wait. A whole new laptop to myself.!!

Well, that's about it. Hopefully i get to do what i plan to do after SPM. 'Cause you never know whats gonna happen, right?? But hopefully i can...... I'm not gonna let it to become plans and stay as plans only. Some of the plans would be my great experiences of life. After all, life is wayyy too short for you not to take risk and hold on too much to yourself..

Just me and you then.

2009-08-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

Randomly taken for fun.

A free weekend, at last where by i'm gonna stay at home and going nowhere except for workouts. Yes, i'm going to have me, mentally and physically resting at home...
For once, it feels like heaven just to be at home and i am seriously spending that free time to STUDY!
Mum bought me too many SPM books to be done with so that is what i gonna do this weekend. And maybe some workouts to make me feel like me again. With everyone's not gonna be around this Saturday, its all me alone at home. Just home alone. Just me and my privacy.
I've been really feeling laid down this weeks at school with most teachers not teaching in class. So i pretty much occupied with my own books that have to be done with. Our school been pretty fortunate enough not to be close down with that H1N1 going around. We're been hearing lots of schools been closed because of this influenza for this week. Too bad for them actually. Its not like i really like to go school nowadays. I'm just longing for the August holidays to arrive. But as for them, they still have to go school during the holidays. LOL. For now, i just have to bear going to school, i just have to be patient enough. Some people still can't really accept my 'mind' talking. But then, i don't freakin care anymore. It's their problem, not mine.
So just me and you today, books. I feel like i'm missing someone but i'm not sooo sure about it...

Siggghhhh.... Love, love to everyone..

A busy week, yet great weekend..

2009-08-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

SASATNESS, people!!

The past week have been really crazy as there so many that events and things on that particular week. There must be really something special about last week. Formal events, birthday parties and it's also good that i managed to go for SPM Clinic. I got to spent time with lots of friends, near and far, those who i didn't get to see often too.

5K, MKTB SBH CLASS PARTY OF 2009

Glad that Momoy & Oiyoe make it to the party.

Yay, got to spent time with him..

My long time best friend, Brandon Soh. Wrong class this him.

Its Jill & Laurell. They looked real good during the party.

It was a nice class party. Their teachers were really sporting and its nice to meet all my old primary school friends back. Some of them i knew from sports. Seriously, i had fun that night. Its really good to watch the band and played some games.

Next two days, I went for the Spm Clinic and while getting knowledge, i even get to hang out with some friends.

With dearest Idiot, DaI.

It was no doubt a tiring weekend but i get at least to be 'high high' and 'sot sot'. Short word, ' SASAT!! ' Hahahahha. So, anyway, from this day, you gonna see me less online-ing now. Reality check. I am having SPM real soon. So, less time online, more to STUDY. Maybe just once a week. I just have to bear with it laa... Looking forward for a more relaxing, free weekend.

p/s: sory, i know miss some birthday parties. Iwas too occupied baa. I still love you all. Here i would like to wish......

3rd August 2009- MICHELLE CHU CHING MEI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 17 today!!!

4rd August 2009- IVA AISHAH MANSOR, you're next in the line to be 17! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Retire at last..

2009-07-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

I'm finally 'retired' today. Everything was surprise today including myself. It is definitely one of my most memorable day of my life. Yes, i'm glad that i finally can considered myself RETIRED from the Prefect Board after becoming one for about 10 years since primary school. It was never an easy job, yet i have to admit that there are few things i'm really gonna miss about being a prefect. Everyone keep saying, " Mesti u will miss rehat awal this, kan?" hahahahah,no doubt, that is one of the reasons. But it's more than that. It have given me chance to be friends with a lot of people with different characters and attitudes, and have this special bond with some of them. Now i understand what the previous seniors feel when i am one. I was grateful that my beloved family were able to show up to be there for me. Even Eric skipped school today. It was a simple ceremony of Prefect's Installation of 2009/2010. Of course i'm not one of the prefects to be installed. LOL
I just finished doing my speech the night before, 'cause i was really not sure on how to express everything on one speech especially in Malay. Yet, when i was doing it, i was inspired about a lot of things merely my family and my 'sasatness' friends. When i was finally done with it, i was satisfied with it, and just waiting for the next day to let it all out. But then when i was there on that stage, suddenly i feel the nerve. Yet, i know i done my best in doing my job as headgirl and that moment, i just take a deep breath and let it all out. I know that a lot of people was surprised when i utter those word, but then it is one courageous speech that i've done and i'm proud of it. It was simply something sincere . that comes from heart. Maybe I'm just too outspoken and bold, but i don't care about what people think that time. So, now i'm officially retired with the rest of the Form 5 prefects and tomorrow, i will be going to any other school just like any other students.
All the prefects. Retired, continuing service and the newbies. Headgirl of 2009/2010, Seri leading the vow.

While waiting for the ceremony to start..

Pic taken from Eric.. The 'retired' ones

Giving candle to and receiving flower from Seri.. Bahh at last time for me to pass the job..

Smiling at Eric that time.

Giving my memorable speech. Ceh

After the ceremony. Group photo.

Daddy, mommy, me and Eric.

Well i'm sure gonna miss having duty with a lot of people but it's more to a sigh of relieved as i'm free from the school management stuff. I'm glad to write down messages for the people that i sayang. I'm also happy that i got to thank a lot of people during my speech especially, my parents, Eric, my friends and 5ST. Everyone realise that Eric surprised to hear his name mentioned during my speech. He is my only brother and who always support me in everything i do. I hope Eric didnt read this owh.Thanks to Jane for her sweet message, to Sulina for your gift and message, to Konea for the sweet chocolates, Asyiqin for the lovely flowers and all of you for pure friendship towards me. I'll treasure it, i always will. Owh ya, and to Idiot daI, thanks for everything. I will always remember it no matter what.

Also i'm really speechless with the party that my class 5ST made for me. You guys are awesome.

I sure wish all the best to Seri, Mimi and Sam and the Prefectorial Board of 2009/2010 in their duty.

Lastly, thanks everyone for your love today and now i am officially an average student.

P/s: A poem that i'm sure some people remember

We all have one life to live
One heart to beat
One chance to live our dream
To live like we want it to be
We will make many choices along the way
That’s why we have Friends that will help
Us on our way
Day to day, Year to year
There are many hardships along the way
So always carry a smile every which way
Because with one smile you can brighten someone’s day
And make it a cheerful year Just one chance to make an impression on someone
So be good to all you see for someday
They may become a boss to you and me
I do not know what a waits ahead of me
And what surprises may come my way
But I’m sure I will live a joyful life

Being random feels good..

2009-07-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

I never really update this blog because lately, i never know what to talk about. I always lost in my own thoughts in class, when i try to sleep, in the car. In short word, everywhere. I've been thinking too much about every single thing, even the simplest to the biggest possiblities that could ever happen to me and my life. There's no doubt that there's a lot of things that crossed my mind. I never could guess why that happen.

I'm not bluffing when i said this is my toughest year. And its not even particularly about SPM. SPM just part of it. Everything seems pretty hard now and I couldn't even explain what i mean by that. See?? Everything in me seems pretty tangled up and it's just way, way to complex to sort it. Such as i'm not the kind of person who likes to receive orders and i always make a point of demanding my independence. That's just me. Too bad for those people who don't like that about me. But i do make my point clear, i never really do care about what people talked about me especially this year. Yeah, there are compliments which i appreciate it very much or worse, bad gossips about me, whom i think that they could just look at their own self first before judging other people. Randomness, i suddeny talk about all this things 'cause i know it happens. Well, i felt sorry for those people, i'm just too immune to it already. :)

7 years in sports, 5 years in high school. It all seems pretty fast. I am just now going to focus on my priority which is SPM and then i'm gonna look forward for a new beginning next year. Next year would be different because i'm not gonna be in high school anymore. Somehow, i'm not sure if i ever gonna step on my own high school after that. Well, well it's just too early to say that, isn't it?

Let's get back to reality. Actually, i just can't wait to 'retire' already. I'm sick of teacher's demands from me, expecting theirs orders to be fulfilled, never thought about me having my own precious time to be in class. Yes, i know we should look teachers in a good perspective but don't you think sometimes they're gone overboard?? They probably gonna strangle me after they read this but i just have to say this. Sometimes it's just not fair, isn't it? Stii, sorry, i seriously have not bad intention despite everything that i just express here

I'm really just being random now. I can say about a lot of things but there are some few things i rather keep it to myself. This could be even much more longer. Sigghh, tomorrow's Monday already. I always hated Monday. Luck, luck tomorrow.

Qilzcha, Ann & Noor Syaridah

2009-06-28T03:16:00.000-07:00

Well Chang txt me lately and today, i saw Mr Momoy @ Larry Lian at Centre Point today.
I guess i miss them. All of a sudden.
That explain the header picture up there.
Know each other since we're 12 and been friends ever since.

Picture psychos!!

Momoy and I. Another scene of picture pscychos.

Our turn together. My phone this time
.

Our blessed friendship.
QILZCHA MALAN, ANN ALETHEIA & NOORSYARIDAH IBRAHIM

Naahh got already

2009-06-19T01:23:00.000-07:00

waaahhhh loooong, LOONG time already i don't update this blog.
I don't really have the acssess already to go online whenever i want to since there are so many things to do nowadays & the laptop we have, you seen, there's been a little bit damage here and there.
Don't even ask me why. So just bear with me k.
Some people have been asking me to update this blog so many times.
Well here it is now.
So 2nd semester has started and it means less time for me to online.
I'm looking forward to 'retiring' soon, hehe ..
'Retiring' you ask?
It means that i will be an average student in one month.
Yes one month. I'am no more prefect.
Also means more 'freedom' for me.
And when that time comes, i can take a deep breath and feel relieved about it.
Now i just need myself now.
The sasat Ann, tha Ann that can be 'high, high'.
Just pretend you know what i mean.
owh gosh again i have to go. So, just bear with me la ahh.. :)

Yeaah, haha exam's OVER!!

2009-05-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry, sorry, sooorryy..
I just finished my exam that had been last for 3 weeks..
I dunno how the rest & i survived, but yet, we still managed..
I think it have been a while since i checked the net, feel a bit lost here..
So i'm just relieved that EXAM's really OVER.. Yeah, not SPM..
But at least i can now relax a little bit, not rushing home & study subjects for next day's papers.
It's not that you have to stop studying but exam season is really a bit stressful.
Holiday 's coming thou & i'm quite looking forward for it.
I need a break from school duties.
I JUST REALLY, REALLY NEED A BREAK.
It feels really good to slowly get things done,
you never want to have that long list of things to do. It feels crazy to think about it, so you might as well not to think much about it but just try to get it done. I more week of school, then it's 2 weeks of holidays. Even during the holidays, i have to think of IU Day. Haha, gila.
Seriously, i just feel like giving up and surrender. But that's like taking the easy way out to handle things. I'm not the kind of person who gives up easily ( not that i being modest or anything). People just like to talk nowadays, not like i even care but there are times that you're so annoyed with those buzzing, i just really wanna keep their mouth shut. Ooopss, too harsh?? Nothing really interesting actually, i just look forward for the holidays and not other things.
I feel like going out from KK for a while, maybe i will. Family plans, i hope. Just few days. Just to let go of being tight for a while. That would be really, really nice. Of couse, before that i have to get all my stuff done first. I'll have new update here soon.

I'm back.....

2009-04-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

It have been a long time since i blog..............
It felt like forever & now here i am, updating it.
Well, frankly now,
I'm trying to get back on track in my life.
Finishing one sport tournament after another is not easy, but the worse part is
coming back to school feeling blurry about everything.
I am trying to organise myself back, trying to catch up all those lessons that i missed and at the same time, trying to get all my homeworks done.
Praise God, i didn't miss much since i was away from school just from 3 days for the recent tournament.
But still i miss tuition lessons because of the under 21 netball training so guess i consider that's a lot of things to catch up.
School was ok, just ok since there are things going around in school.
MAK ( Majlis Anugerah Kecemerlangan ) is coming up and taking another sports achievement award just like every year.
Reading this, you kinda guess that my life is basically about my studies especially with the upcoming SPM and of course, SPORTS.
I never can get over that but no matter how important that seems to me, still studies is still the main priority.
Now at this very moment, i felt there was something missing.
I might be smiling each day, but i kinda feel nothing nowadays.
Maybe, i miss Jacky. I didn't get to see him nowadays, with him busy with hockey tournaments and now after i keep leaving him for sports, now it's his turn to do the same.
Yes, he's going somewhere ( not sure where yet) next week, the whole week for another tournament. Well, this is how we are, always going somewhere for sports, leaving each other to miss the other. But we're kinda used to that.
So, i'm living my life now as a student, exam's next month & i have to not to think much about other thing than studies now.
Well, here's some pics from the
Under 21 Netball Youth Championsip recently at Stadium Kiara, KL.

After our game. Sabah Under 21 Team

After our last game against Perak. I look chubby. Gosh.

Last pose. Haha. Should be doing cooling down now.

At KLIA. Waiting for our flight to home sweet home.

So, that's about it. Off doing ADD MATHS project now.

Sasatness....

2009-03-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

Missing Chang & Momoy badly this few days.
Momoy called me last night, told me how she miss our MSSM days badly.
Yes, Momoy. Me too.
Compared to the previous year, i have to say.......
It wasn't that fun.
The only thing that make me really appreciate this year is because of my BFF in this game that we have been played for years.
During the last days, the three of us stayed up late knowing that we will never have this chance again to hang around & talk.
Sighhhhhhhh......................

During our stay at the Likas Hostel.. Chang & i got the same room but yeah, Momoy sneak out from her room every night to sleep with us.. :)

Yeah, us again. LOL.

Our team this year. Love the colour... Heh

There's a lot of newbies this year for the juniors.
Well, it is time anyway to have new talent in this game.
Too much of us anyway.
I'm now focusing on my under 21 'REMAJA KEBANGSAAN' which will be held in 2 weeks at Damansara, KL.
So many things in my mind now.
With homework, handball dilemma with everyone asking me
" WHY??" i don't join this year??
Soorry, Nick. Guess you're not going to see me this year.. Huhu
LIFE IS SO DAMN, MMM...............................
I'm sighing, way, WAY too much................

"Wuii Larry you better take good care of Momoy there."
Yeah, they're officially an item now.
I'm missing HIM a lot too....
I sayang all this people a lot.....

Bahh for those who's reading,
well i'm now in season of moddy days...
No mood for u21 training, school.....
Wish i'm just an average student.
Yeah, normal.
ANN IS VERY SASAT NOW.
You like that, hah, MR JACKY?!
HAHAHA siiiigggggggggghhhhh................................................

Huhuhuahua

2009-03-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

So here i am finally back after two weeks involving in training & tournament.
Yeah, back in school which is so not in the mood & missing people.
Anyway, can't update now 'cause like i say not in the mood.
So here's just a look of my next post.

Sabah U18 MSSS Netball Team

Buddies for life.

ANN IS 17!!

2009-03-06T06:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, i am officially 17 years old TOODAYY!!
And i'm glad to say that i have a good time today...
I mean i didn't expect much ..
Just a day of me getting one year older.
But...............
I was stunned with the SURPRISE for me from my girlfriends.............
Michelle bake me the birthday cake with a big capital A on top of it,
Christine made me cookies, Iris & Jeshi broughts snacks,
Even Chong too & Iva brought brownies........
They sang that special song for this day during recess with the whole choir team...
Mohan was the loudest among all & practically the craziest for saying the
" Ann Aletheia, Happy Birthday" on stage with mic...
And I was touched........
Seriously.... I never actually celebrated my birthday before........
It always fall on the wrong day but not this year..
IT IS A REALLY DAMN, 'FREAKIN GOOD DAY!!
And i would like to say a biiiiggggg THANK YOU & I LOVE YOU to those who remembered
this special day of mine... Wanna see what i get??

This ones from my mummy.. She gave me a Nike attire with sweatpants & all.. I love it..!!

Syiqin gave me a cup full of Cadbury chocolates... Haha, she know baa thats my 'cannot resist' food..... LOL

Like the Nike sports towel & the Cecelia Ahern novel from Miss Tom. She treat me crazily today.

Orlando, just like Syiqin.. Wanna make me fatter baa dis... Hahah

I guess, i like everything that i get today.
'Cause for me, it is the thought that counts....
I know something about me this year...
I let things to flow on their own.. You know, whatever happens, just let it be.
I doesn't really care abut what people say already &
i like that about myself.
Well, have a nice weekend everyone.
Come to EFA CHARITY BAZAAR by SM ST FRANCIS CONVENT!

P.s I sayang a lot of people.
And you knew who.

Finally.................

2009-03-04T00:18:00.000-08:00

I suddenly remembered about them.
I'm gonna see them soon for the netball centralised training which is starting next week.
And before that, i even have selection for the Under 21 Netball Nationals on this coming Saturday.
Wish me luck for that one.
So here is it.
Netball throughout the years.

I always talk about them. Yees, they're my best buddies in this game. Chang & Momoy.

Sabah Netball Team of 2007 (MSSM). 2 years ago.

KK team of 2008. OMG, i look so bigggggg there..

It's the 2008's at Putrajaya.

This year at Keningau. The MSSS. During the finals. Owh yes, we won this one.

Anyway, looking at the pictures bring lots of memories throughout the years.
No more MSSM next year.
Just the National Opens, Sukan Wanita & of course, the Under 21's.
The time certainly felt moving so fast now.
It's been 7 years already, starting where i can't even catch the ball.
Now Form 5 already, and will turn up 17 in just few days.
The day after tomorrow.

6TH MARCH 2009- ANN A. MANSON IS 17.

Don't mind me, ok.
The Monthly Test have just finished & it's really a relieved.
I can focus myself in the school coming bazaar & my final MSSM at Melaka.
Also, i have to finish my homeworks before i check in to the hostel.
Gosh, ADD MATHS.
So, less blogging and online.
Daa daa, off to tuition.

Feeling good?!

2009-02-23T06:15:00.001-08:00

I should feel good about myself.
You know, the sense of gratitude. I should have that feeling towards myself 'cause i seldom do.
The fact that i have a family that have been very supportive of what i do,
even with all the arguements that happened before.............
one guy who practically make my life merrier,
and tasting that sweet taste of success recently in the game that i enjoyed the most,
beating Sandakan at last & getting the award as a bonus,
I actually should feel good about myself.
Even despite the fact that 'we' are not talking & the worse thing that had happened,
talking about me behind my back.
That is what i'm feeling pretty bad about the whole thing.
Although come to think of it, it have never been my fault.
And yes, i feel hurt.
Getting the record straight is not hard although how hurtful it could be.
I'm stepping to that building each day with a sigh,
hoping that i will still survive mentally after what it feel like a long, long day.
I took the risk & i dealt with the consequences.
And know what, i have no regrets on doing it.
Well, because for sure, it have never been wrong.
I may no getting all i want and maybe, what i expect,
but like i say before, that's when the sense of gratitude should be rolling in.
It have been tough days, & what it's only February.
At least the coming Monthly Test is not until 6th of March.
Thank God.
But, i'm not sure i'm even taking it with the whole Melaka thing coming on.
Yup, the centralised training.
So, i'm counting on lady luck tomorrow,
hoping me survive for another day.
Surprises come to me every single day,
and one of it, my whole girlfriends join hockey....
God bless them, haha if you know what i mean.
Well, off doing my 'kerja kursus' now................................
Good week to everyone.

GOLD!!!!

2009-02-16T06:09:00.000-08:00

So here i am finally back in KK after the whole week at Keningau.
And lemme tell you, this time its biggy. GOODY, NEWS!!
Owh yes, finally GOLD!!
Yes, GOLD FOR THE U18 BARAT NETBALL TEAM FOR MSSS!!
Yes, it's Barat now & not KK. I know, what the heck, right??!
But, i'm too happy too even feel bad about the name.
We finally beat the Sandakan team.
At my final year. Boy, i'm glad.
I thought my Valentine going to be a big bummer, but
hey, he have always supported me & what's better,
i even get this.................................................

BEST PLAYER FOR MSSS UNDER 18 CATEGORY!!

Another collection to my MSSS medals.

So, i was just so worry with me being captain of team & also with the little training we had.
But thank God, we managed to grab GOLD this year.
I didn't even expect the award that i get.
When they said,
" Memegang posisi GD........"
everyone was looking for me, and i didn't want to put my hopes high with me getting it last year,
then, " dari pasukan Barat........"
Boy, am i smiling & everyone was shouting... It was my name.
It's really a blessing for me.
Even Mum, Dad & Eric went all the way to Keningau to support me............
I am really so grateful with all this things i have.
Momoy cried & i do understand why.
Well, they lost and it's their final year.
It is arkward to play against my own best friends with Chang & Momoy plays as partners
against my team. But i do what i have to do
& I GOT MY AIM!
But at least we were more.
chosen again to nationals next month, so i guess they weren't that sad anymore.

18-23rd MARCH 2009- MSSM NETBALL AT MELAKA.

Guess i'm going & it's my final year.
I'm glad my final year of MSSS ended up this way.
WE WON
& that's what matters.
I can go back to school with a big smile now.
Although i was actually feeling quite tired just now.
So, i'm now off to catch up all the homeworks that i missed for the past week!!
Gosh, it's a lot.............
But for sure, i'm not going to get over the memories at Keningau that soon...........

:)

Latest update!! VALENTINE's coming!!

2009-02-09T04:42:00.000-08:00

Alas, a chance to blog & improvise it. Thank God.
It finally look similar to normal.
It's a bit plain though, as i see it. But........
that's the least thing i can do because i don't really have time to blog again nowadays with everything that's going around me.
So, what about me lately??
Just finish the 2 papers of EXCEL last week.
And lemme tell you,
IT WAS NOT EASY!!
MORAL & ADD MATHS were 'freakin hard..
But i done my best.
Although somehow A1 or A2 is really imposibble..
Sigh...........
See, i'm sighing again. Have to stop doing that.
Owh yeah before i forgot to tell,
after all the netball riots i have before,
THE FRANSISCAN Under 18 netball team is in TOP 4 this year.
That's really an accomplish for our school even without a proper coach compared to the other schools.
We played hard & somehow, we were proud of ourselves despite the fact that we can get better than that.
Anyhow, 'they' doesnt even care about the u18 team.
And yet, WE DID IT even without them!! HAH!!
So, the dilemma...

12-14 FEB 2008 - MSS SABAH NETBALL at Keningau ( state level)
*Oooh yes, i'm CHOSEN again but again, like every year, the only one in my school.......*
But also on the SAME DATE,
- MSSD KK ATHLETICS
* Sigh................................................*

See, i know what's going to happen.
And i know Papa Jahat is going to show me that dissapointed face of his, which makes feel real guilty.. But HOW??
It's not my fault it's clashed. Again.
It really is not. And obviously, i'm going for netball. No 50/50 again this.
Whatever it, i'm just gonna deal with it tomorrow.
Wish me luck & hope things, at least, on this final year, goes well..
Well...............
VALENTINE IS COMING!!!

And you ask me about that no 6 in my previous list,
nguahahaa HE LOOOOVEEEESSSS ME!!
Hahahaahahaha
Just,
too bad i'm not gonna be with him during that special day.
But still he lurve me....

So off to little revision & early sleep,
netball centralised training starts tomorrow the whole day..

Error! Error!

2009-02-04T03:21:00.000-08:00

Hey there.
For those who have reading my blog, i know you realise the changes on my blog.
Well all because of the damn template that i accidentally change.
I can't get my old template before so i just have to live with this one at the moment.
It is still in the middle of adjustment & so on.
So hope you can just deal with it & still enjoy reading it. :p
Wishing everyone have a great week!

Luck, luck,luck.

2009-01-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

So it have been a very, long busy week.......
It's a wonder that i'm still able to update this blog of mine..
It just because sometimes i can't make myself sleep early although i'm very exhausted that day..
I dunno, that's just me..
And somehow i'm kinda used to the remarks that people made..
That i look tired...
But that thinner part is so untrue..
I have never become skinny & i never will...
hah??! :p
Anyway, lot of things have happened for the past few days..
Mini Sports Day was last Saturday, where by i managed to remain my stake as the gold medal winner for the 400 m Hurdles race & still silver medal for 3rd year in the row for 4x400m.
I was nervous for nothing.. Ceh, perasan..
Frankly, i was better in my run. I knew it 'cause i felt it & hey, that was a damn good thing.
Then on Monday until Wednesday for the week we had EXCEL..
It was ok but i dunno la..
I bet my classmates, most of them have hardly studying for it since everyone was excited for
SPORTS DAY!!
Duh, isn't it obvious??
It's because of the cheer of course..
And yeahye FOKKER won the cheerleading & also marching!!!
We get 3rd with the whole thing but we had fun.
I even felt the nerve for 100 m Hurdles Race but hah, i get throught it.
Whhuiih, it felt really great especially knowing it would be my final run for that event after 5 years..
Hahaha it's holiday now for our school!!!
But.........................
sad thing, No NOO holiday for me...
Yes.
Sigghhhh..............................................
umm again
siggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................................
I guess i'm kinda used to it.............................
NETBALL MSSSG KK IS COMING, ON THE 29TH-31ST JAN!!
After training so hard, alas IT'S FINALLY ALMOST HERE!!
I'm kinda nervous i think..
Final, FinaL. FINAL!!!
Woww.
I'm worried & anxious.
Lady Luck, please be on our side this time.
And also.
EQUUS SHOW THIS WEEK!!
The 1st show have just started...............
Hope we can pull this off!!
After they have worked really hard for this....
Hey......... A big, biggy smile for them!!
So now, i just need pray that i can break a leg & pull everything off..
Please, please & please......
My brain is cracking crazily & i need my damn resttttt!!!!
Nite, nite everyone.
Kindly pray for me & my team that we can break a leg in the tournament & come back to Convent with a smile & a trophy!!!

GOOD DAY??!!

2009-01-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

I am about to say that i'm having a good today today just few hours ago..
Not the best day in my life, but just a good day..
Guess i spoke too soon, isn't it??
Actually, i have a lot of things to be happy about TODAY...........
Even the most little thing can make me happy at that very moment...
Everyone in class was so super excited for the SPORTS DAY tomorrow..
They make cheer skirts, talk like sot-sot today & we're just really like this bunch of crazy people who somehow stuck in this all-girls school..
I wasn't even feeling tense about anything but just having a fun, fun time with my girlfriends just now........

But the real REASONS WHY I CAN BE SO HAPPY TODAY???!!.....:

1) We FINALLY get our MSSG netball call-letter from Maktab Sabah during 'pulang' time today.
YES, yes & its about time we get it. We have been working really hard for it & somehow, i felt shouting to the teachers in charge, " Hah, you see. I TOLD YOU!!!" I feel like jumping in the air that time as i have been really patient waiting for it after being comdemn by the 'superior'. Ish..

But that was that time...

2) At last, Dad found the perfect tuition for me.
It's not really a tuition, but morely an Education Centre. I have been searching for the best place to continue my extra lessons since the extra lessons i get in the tuition centre before wasn't really just right for me & since then, i have been searching everywhere for it. Place that have no distractions from study. At least i don't have to worry about that anymore.

3) I haven't have a single arguement with anyone today.
Not even teachers nor my family. I didn't have to deal with all the teacher's crap & rebel against it. The 'superior' can take a relieved sigh now.
But that's what they thought.

4) I've been talking with my sports buddies whom i miss so much.
I am really looking forward to meet them and that's why i really, really wanna go Keningau for the netball state level next month. It's our final year baaaaa & i'm soooooo wannnnna meet Chang, Momoy & Mel. I wannnnaaaaa huuuggggggg them so tightly until they gonna cry.
I even met Larry just now & somehow, he reminds me of our days in Likas hostel.

5) I have come to my senses & in the term of trying to believe that my family actually love me.
Ok, i know this is like super crap but hey, i didn't felt loved for quite a long time. Even Eric whom have been one annoying brother that a girl can have, also have been really supportive with me.

6) He loves me........ Nguhahahaahaha

But i dunno, life is sometimes so UNFAIR to me.
This day had been really 'freakin good & i felt on top of the world at one tiniest moment
UNTIL
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
COACH CALLED ME!
Yes, she call me & told me some unexpected news that i SOOOOOOOOOOOO
wanna punch anything that was around me at that time..........
Teacher ****** don't show up for the netball meeting at all during this afternoon,
leaving a question mark to my coach... ?????????
I was so positive about the whole netball thing but SEE???!!!
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED NOW.
WHY??!!!
JUST TELL ME WHY??!!
I am just a student, a girl who happens to love this game & become really good in this.
It's my ' FREAKIN FINAL YEAR baaaaa.........
WHAT HAVE WE DONE???!!
NOTHING.
We just train really hard.
I worked my ass off for the team & i wasn't even suppose to coach them..
DAMN, damn, damnnnnnn........................
Fortunately, coach told me what to do to ensure my school team's entry in the tournament.
Phhuiiihhh....
I WANNA GO KENINGAU & MELAKA THIS YEAR!!
Yes, for MSSM!!!
Somehow, they'll feel sorry for this.
For now, i'm just gonna be a little patient with them cause
i am so irritated to THE MAX now with this people.............................
I can just annoy them until they really going to avoid me..
And you think, i'm gonna care??
No way, man....
Ok, i'm gonna get my sleep now.
I just hope i can run & jump the hurdles tomorrow...
I know, i can run & jump but i just dunno if i can go really fast like last year.
It would be my last run of athletics, i suppose.
So i just need all the luck i can get...

Me????

2009-01-17T22:33:00.000-08:00

Konea, Konea.. First tag of 2009!! Hmm you wanna see how weird i am, do you???
So here goes..................

Directions:

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you.
At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.
Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog.
You can't tag the person who tagged you.
Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

#1. Well, if people ask me about email, i will put that "mmm, should-i-tell??" face for a moment..
#2. 'cause my email have a WEIRD name.
p.s don't even ask me about it. It's been a long, long time ago.
#3. But just so you ask, i used to be a little 'tomboy' when i was like 12. That's how it started.
I still have a problem become really feminine with me involve in sports..
#4. I hate lovey dovey words. All those 'jiwang' talk.
#5. I am a very REBELLIOUS person. That's why teachers hate me.
#6. I hate the SCHOOL RULES despite with who i am in school.
#7. I HATE FAKE PEOPLE. I like people who be their ownselves.
#8. I'm trying not to HATE people who been really mean to me.
Maybe just DISLIKE .
#9. I love watching SLAM DUNK. Yeah yeah, the ANIMAX cartoon.
#10. I like kiddies food. Like the HAPPY PANDA cookies.
#11. If you see me very HYPER on that day, then something is freakin wrong with me.
I think Jane is the one who always notice that.
#12. I can be very nice if you want to & very MEAN if you did something that you will sorry for. So watch out your words & acts. Scared?? Don't be. Just AFRAID.. Nguahahahahah HAHAHA.
#13. I can be very happy with little things & very SAD in little things too..
Ok, i don't get it too..
#14. I feel like punching the people who spell my second name wrongly. I think my second name is very rare. :)
#15. I'm normal in weirdness. HAHAHAHAHAHA
#16. I felt like a lowest scum at this very moment.

Tagging:
Surya- I MISS seeing her become DORKY!!!

Hanabanana - 'cause she can be really silly if she want to.. HEHE

Naz ary- Just to see how weird he is now or maybe normal.........

Qay- 'cause lama i didn't see him...

Tia -'cause if you know her, you'll see the crazy side of her..

Happy Birthday MOHANA RAMANEE!!!

2009-01-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to youuuuu,
Happy birthday to MOHAN................
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU!!!!

Dear Mohan,
i don't know if you'll ever read this but just bear in mind that i have always love you..
Despite the ups & down that we had in our friendship, you have always been one of the bestest friend a girl can ever have & i felt lucky that
i'm one of them....
Our friendship have been years.......
5 years of sitting next to each other...
Talking, laughing, even joging...
All those little things that i've spent with you have been really great..
Although we might grow apart one day, even maybe now,
do remember this.......
I've always love you & you will always and truly be
A PART OF MY LIFE..............................
Thanks Mo for everything.......

With love,
your Annieeeee.....

Friends.............. ILY!!!

It's Final....

2009-01-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

So yeah the St Francis Convent Cross Country was over & know what, it was my last cross country of high school life....
I'm glad that i wasn't feeling the nerve, just knowing it's my last makes me just wanna try my best & aim what i always aim, the top 10...
I just felt cold all through the run, since it is raining season, but it wasn't raining on the day,
JUST VERY COLD.....
But i get better, get FIFTH in the cross country
It was my first time gettin top 5 and also would be my last..
But cross country was never my thing, so getting a trophy in this particular event makes me feel
wooow...
That's something..
That trophy was the shortest one in my trophy collection...
Mostly was the netball trophies and that's new in my collection...
My MUM even join the PIBG category this year, & that's the better news..
She get FIRST in the woman category....
She was great, really...
She took the day off just to follow the run knowing that it's my final year in Convent...
Mum was somehow the centre of attention....
When it was her turn to take the 1st prize, the TROPHY,
everyone was shouting,
" ANN'S MUM!!!!"
"MAMA ANN!!!"
Boy, i was smiling....
She was smiling too...
We even took a picture together with our trophies but yeah, its with Gwen, the SRM photographer....
So here is it....
See the difference??? But hey, i should be proud, right??

Yeah, obviously we know who is whose... But still, mum-daughter win.. Yeeahhh...

Knowing it's my final year, i know i would do my best in every single thing that i do..
I've learned how to control my nerves so that i wouldn't feel nervous for any competition but just have a little confidence in things...
I'll miss all of this when this is over, having my friends arounds me where we cheered, compete & yet the friendship bond grow even closer....

Yeah, i'll miss them... Miss all the memories i have with them...

Love each one of them.... And yeah the FOKKER board too...

Netball MSSG KK is postponed to the end of month giving us more time to prepare...
Wanna end my netball year in MSSM with another great memories...
Nonetheless, the best one ever.....
Just talked to the coach recently & this year the NETBALL MSSS, the state level will be at Keningau on the early Feb...
Hopefully GOLD from the KK team this year....
After losing just ONE GOAL from Sandakan last year causing us to get silver...
but we'll have our revenge, i hope...

Yeah just one more trophy from my final year.. Yeah, it's netball's.........

God have gave me blessed years of netball & i appreciate every single thing of it...

Well, gotta go now... It's gonna be a pretty busy month this January & coming up,
our annual Mini Sports Day... Hate the 400 m Hurdles.. Wish me luck...

I really do HATEEE THEM??!!

2009-01-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, i HATEEEEE them..!!
If you were wondering, it is my 'beloved' school whom i hated so much..
I think you can see that in my Facebook status.. If i'm only an average student in school,
i really will make a " HATEE THE SCHOOL!!!!" banner & start a riot..
I shouldn't be getting any problem at school on the first week but yes, i am having trouble now in school..
The problem to ' negotiate' with them ...
They said i was wrong to do this, i have no right to do that & bla, bla, bla...
What it is about???
NETBALL.
Yes, NETBALL.
The game that i loved so much.
The game that i have put everything into. ENERGY. TIME. HARD WORK.
Not even almost, EVERYTHING.
Each year, it's always the same problem that i have to face. What ever bu** s**t that they're been saying, i really don't get them.
Our school team was the only team who's having this trouble. The other school team doesn't seem to have this problem.
Their teachers have always been there to support & assist them.
But WE???
Not even one teacher showed up in our training or at least help us to 'negotiate' with the school with what-so-ever prosedure...
Come on laaa..................
We're putting all our effort in it & every year, we sure to have a placing.
I'm not being over confident here that we will win again this year but at least we are trying our best. Not even just best, OUR VERY BEST..
And again you're blaming me for all this, saying that i simply overdoing thing...
HEELLLLOOOOOO???!!
Have you even ever see us train??
No, right??
Then you guys cannot simply just judge us...
Waiting you guys to give us the approval letter will be like forever..
How i know???
EVERY YEAR like that....
Why the other school can start their training already even without verbally??
Why the teachers are always there to help them with anything??
WHHYYYYY??
I really would like to tell this to my coach, maybe even SOONER....
Compared to previous years also, this year we only a very little time to train..
Only 1 week since last Wednesday.
We even have to skip the cross country practice everyday.

Here's the dates of TAKWIM KOKUM of the year of 2009 * include the academic tests*.

14 JAN - SCHOOL CROSS COUNTRY
15 JAN - EXCEL TEST
* I miss the one day test but it's only BM baa.. I will try to take it later..
15-17 JAN- NETBALL MSSG KK
17 JAN - SCHOOL MINI SPORTS
* I might miss 2 events because of netball or i have to run back to back from Likas Court to Likas Stadium to participate in those events*
19-21 JAN- EXCEL TEST again
22 JAN - SCHOOL SPORTS DAY
2-3 FEB - EXCEL TEST agaaaiiiinnnn
12-14 FEB- NETBALL MSS SABAH
- ATHLETICS MSSD KK
* Bye bye athletics. It clashed, AGAIN this year just like 2007. Now you know why i dreaded to talk to Papa Jahat. Exactly the same date*
18- 23 MARCH - NETBALL MSSM

Handball will be on April, but i still have to really think before i join that.
After all, it's SPM this year. No freakin' joke, SPM!!
I'm worried, of course, don't say i'm not..
And i'm really, really will try my best in doing what is right.
Nowadays, when i'm in school, i prefer to be quiet & stay in class.
' cause honestly, i hate being in the staff room where i've been comdemned day by day.
I dunno how people look & judge me in school now, but frankly, i don't even care.
Hope is always there but yet, i've never expected things to always go my way.
Only simple miracles.
The past week have been rough but true, problem are everywhere.
So, now i'll be not surfing the net for quite a while because of the busy semester.
Maybe sometimes.
Pretty sure most of us will do that now.
I really need all the luck i can get now.
Sometimes, it's just not fair.
Especially when we are trying our best.
Hopefully...,
everyone can understand................................

Just thoughts............

2009-01-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

When things gone wrong,
The situation doesn't feel right,
And you feel restless.............
We'll always wish for
A warm hug,
A sincere smile,
A pretty good words to hear,
A soft pat on the back,
And,
A shoulder to lay on...

You wish that
your thoughts will be appreciated,
your heart feel warm,
your mind relaxed,
your body feel comfortable in whatever position.........

You wish you still can
smile,
eat,
talk,
& the spirit to go on with your life...

That's how wishes always are but know what,
things have never always gone our way.............................
We hope, we plan but it's always Him to decide....
We never dare to blame Him because
it's just how life suppose to go...
Enjoyable. But not easy...
What we can do?? you ask...
Just follow your intuition,
Take gratefully the
Joys of life, and........
Leave the rest to
GOD................................

God bless......

WHY???????????????

2009-01-06T05:26:00.000-08:00

worried. anxious. tense.
Everything is mixing up in me now.
I'm thinking,
Are the school insane??????
Or maybe not the school, maybe the education minister are crazy..
Torturing students like that..
Just think about it..
Everything is packed even on the first week..
Cross country. Then Excel Test. Then sports. Then test again.
Wt****!!!
Really baaaaaaa......
Now it all come back to square one. The thing that i hope would not happen.
Clashing of my sports dates.
History repeated again.
Somehow i'm sure Papa Jahat gonna kill me.........
How am i gonna face him???
I don't want him to call my coach again....................
After all the hard work we've done during the holidays..
NO. Nooooooooooooo way.......
Am i just gonna let it go like that?? But...................
I. JUST. HAVE. TO.............
I have no choice but to be rasional & sacrifice one of it.
After all, this is my FINAL YEAR & netball is the first game i've started to be discovered
& it's how i slowly, from time to time, go for nationals.
Yeahh, the inter school netball ( MSSG KK) next week..
& Maktab's the host...
Gosh, it right after the School Cross Country & there's no way i'm going for the Mini Sports Day..
If the team can get to the semi's which i hope & AIM we will since it have to be all out this year..
It's just not fair..
But...............................................
On the other hand, i really think that God's trying to help me..........
Because of SPM and all....
What's more, my routine will be pretty exhausting in the coming days........
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................
I clueless.. I don't know what step to take next......
I'm not having my peace now & somehow....................
I don't know how to express this 'cause frankly, it shown all over my face...
Do they understand although they say they are??
I don't know...................
It's hard for me to tell the people in my house 'cause they too have their own problems to be solved...
I guess that how's situation are........
Now i have to find the guts to meet ****....
Sigh.....................
Wish me luck & hope anyone else have a pretty good week 'cause i don't see mine will....

2009's finally here..............

2009-01-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

So bye bye bye 2008 and hello, hello to 2009..!
2009.......................
The year i've been dreaded the most........
Since i stepped on in high school...
Siggghhhhhhhhhhh........................................................................................
Every year, i said to myself, even anyone i know..
" Lama again that Form 5, no need for me to be worrying so much.."
But..
here is it, and let me say it again..........
My final year of high school....
My final year of MSSM...........
MY SPM YEAR.......
And i'm not even imagining it this time...
Not anymore...........
Someone told me,
" You should never think of the yesterdays because yesterdays is past & it will never come back..
You should move forward & keep trying on being optimistic."
That's what he says..
And yet i never really stop thinking although i tried my best not to,
all the things that just passed by..
It should be like....
A new year, a new chapter in life...
But i'm not sure about myself??
Have i change??
Am i better or worse???
I would never know actually...........
People keep judging me & frankly, i'm sick of it because that is never what i wanted...
I wish things this year would be different & i'm pretty sure it will 'cause my instincts say so..
I know life has never been easy but ............
Thinking of myself, i might be selfish in so many ways but you see, i' ve never really been that bad.... If you know what i mean......
I'm only human & i just hope people around me can try to understand that fact......
I might be the oldest kid in the family but hey, sometimes i need space for myself too........
School will be starting on the day after tomorrow & i'm not even excited about it...
I know it's just gonna be a start of my exhausting, busy, days.....
But i'm not complaining about that.........
Just people who never seem to even try to understand.........
Really, i try. Try my best not to care about those things..
Pressure is on now & making myself busy after quite a long holiday maybe will help me to stop thinking about complicated things....
Just one more year of high school & i really want to find a path for me to go after that phase in life....
Gosh, would i ever know who to talk to about this???
Hmm well just fingers crossed & smile....
Gonna suck everything in & just smile........
Will even try to forget about the nerve breaking moment that i've been through 'cause it haunt me....
Take a deep breath now &
BRING IT ON........................!

My Christmas This Year!!

2008-12-29T06:45:00.000-08:00

"How was X'mas?"
It was ok..
Ok, honestly.. It wasn't the best Christmas i ever had in years & i can just say, if you just ask me,
i would frankly rank it to the lowest in my list..
It wasn't only me who feel that way, almost everyone in my family..
Maybe even everyone..
On account of my grandpa who's really sick, barely can walk..
One by one of us infected with the 'red eye' disease * i was lucky i didn't get that*
& things wasn't just going so well..

As always like it have been for every year,
we will spent our Christmas Eve with the family on dad's side &
on Christmas Day, we will have it with the family on my mum's side..
Although it's the usual,
but somehow, the situation this year was really quite tense..
But don't get me wrong.
It's not like we're not having fun at all..
It's just slightly different compared to the previous years..
Also because of the wedding of my deearest cuzzy, Sis Sharon on the 27th Dec,
solemnized 2 days after Christmas.
That's why i guess things were going so havoc..
Owh well, that's how it goes this year.
SIGH...........................................................................

Alas, our picture together as siblings. Eric so tall, kan???

My beloved parents. Mr & Mrs Manson.

Owh yeah, forgot to tell you guys. My cousins from S'kan* father's side* were having X'mas this year with us. There's Marissa in the pink, Pupui a.k.a Vanessa Zalika * nice name, right?*, the small one & the one next to me is Tasha.

Of course we don't expect the same celebration of X'mas every year but
you know, i really just don't like how it have been this year.
Trust me, i'm not the only one. My cuzzys felt the same too.
HMMM..............................................................

But at least the X'mas tree makes me happy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Now, you can see why, right ?

At the night of the 25th, open gift session.............................

"OPEN GIFT!!!!!!"

Ann, your present!!!

Yeah, my presents!!!!

One of it.. Now hanging at my phone. All the female cuzzys have this at their phone too!!

My cut, dearest, little cuzz, CARRIE.. Have open her gifts & wearing those.!!
All the toys, stationaries in her little Barbie bagpack...

Here's the wedding pictures on the 27th & 29th Dec 2008!! Sis Sharon finally is married to this man, Andy..

Ok, ok this is not Andy. This is the older brother, Bro Bob. I don't have their wed pic for now.
The camere's with one of my cuzzy..

Carlson & meeeee.... Nice bowtie... :)

The theme colour is blue. So, the bridesmaids have to wear blue.. Here we are. Sis Cassie & me..

Just too exhausted walking all day with the heels & hungry too.. On duty kan..

SO............................
Blog's updated.
Sobs for the wedding thou.
Not because we're sad she's married now
but realise that woow.. mmmm.... speechless 'cause finally someone, our cousin. Married.
It's just too bad that my grandpa barely walk too go & see &
the 'red eye' disease of course where by most of us wearing wearing sunglasesses around the house...
P.s Most of them brought their spouse with them too.. Geeessshhhh...
I'm just 16 to even do that..
But one thing i love about us..
We're never really treat ourselves as cousins.
Morely like brothers & sisters!! :)
Now preparing myself for the NEW YEAR.................................................
AAARRRRGHHHHHHHH..................................

SCHOOL NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chill,ann!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE btw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2009 is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!

2008-12-23T06:27:00.000-08:00

HO! HO! HO!
WISHING EVERYONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL !!!

So, everyone..
I guess i'm off now for a X'mas celebration with my family & relatives now at our very own kampung.
It's a wonderful day of celebration & i'm really looking forward to gather with all my cuzzys and open our gifts together.
I hope everyone, no matter where they are wiil have a good time during this festive season.

Cherish His Christmas

Christmas brings such a time of love
Each tender heart holds so much of

Unselfishness thrives, trust is strong
The purpose to give, send love along

A time of pleasantries, patience too
Good wishes to all, all feelings true

Thankfulness follows each fine deed
Gifts from our God, never from greed

Great the rewards that joy does bring
Like the beauty in hearing angels sing

We pray for our loved, each so dear
Especially those who can’t be near

Many leave home to bravely serve
All freedoms we have, they preserve

Do pray for our troops, as we should
And their families too, if you would

Give thanks to our Lord, His only Son
And cherish His Christmas, everyone.

Manchester United Rocks!!

2008-12-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

Hear ye, hear ye!! Have you heard the news??
MANCHESTER UNITED is named THE BEST FOOTBALL CLUB IN THE WORLD OF 2008 by FIFA!!
Owh yeaah, yeahh.. According to dad, MU is the first English club ever to be named in this super cool title. It always goes to the South American league clubs..
Hey, i'm a big fan of MU, ok?? If i have ever been born as a boy, i probably would really play football. Too bad football in M'sia is not that grant compared to the Westerners.

Manchester United Squad. Now THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD.

So now, fan of Chelsea, Arsenal, & so on.. You can't doubt me now saying that MU's the best!! I'm sorry, i'm just really thrilled. My whole family have been a real big fan of this club. Thanks to my dad who been putting MU in our mind as our favourite club ever. Even the bag that i've always use for sports also has the MU brand. That shows how crazy i am about MU. I have the shirt, bag & etc.. What's more???
Here's the BEST WORLD FOTBALL CLUB PLAYER OF THE YEAR.

The super, amazing, WAYNE ROONEY!!

Here's the 2nd BEST PLAYER,
Superb, hot, hot, CHRISTIANO RONALDO!!!

But MU is nothing without the players... Know them..

Manchester United squad

1 - Edwin Van Der Sar

2 - Gary Neville

3 - Patrice Evra

4 - Owen Hargreaves

5 - Rio Ferdinand

6 - Wes Brown

7 - Cristiano Ronaldo

8 - Anderson

9 - Louis Saha

10 - Wayne Rooney

11 - Ryan Giggs

12 - Ben Foster

13 - Ji-Sung Park

14 - Gabriel Heinze

15 - Nemanja Vidic

16 - Michael Carrick

17 - Nani

18 - Paul Scholes

19 - Gerard Pique

20 - Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

21 - Dong Fangzhou

22 - John O'Shea

24 - Darren Fletcher

26 - Phil Bardsley

27 - Mikael Silvestre

29 - Tomasz Kuszczak

MU throughout the years.. Never failed to impress the fans..

I love them to the max,man!!
Getting the title i assume, would be one the best Xmas gift ever for the squad!!
Because of them, i began to like red.
The RED DEVILs!!

Not forgetting, the man who worked his ass off for the team...
the coach, legendary SIR ALEX FERGUSON!!

Haha, Ann being super enthusiastic because of MU. That's sooooo me...
Hahhahhaha MU ROCKS!!

Days before X'mas.

2008-12-19T05:19:00.000-08:00

Well, this 2 days had been really great for me. I get to meet people & have a great time with them. Just yesterday, the training was quite a light. Maybe because its our last serious intensive training with Papa Jahat for this year. Thats why he soften his heart to not 'torture' us on that day. Thank you, thank you. I keep asking him,
" Mana Xmas present saya??" Hehe :)
Then, after training, i went to hang out with my dearest schoolies, Becks & Jane a.k.a. my 'anak'. Glad that i met them to hang around after been dying for a nice hang out day & of course, for the reason that i have not seen & talk them for quite a long time. We went to watch a movie together, ' The Day When The Earth Stood Still'. It was really a good movie, despite the fact that Becks keep passing me the popcorn to get me fat * i think*.
Yeah, yeah.. I get it. You finish your SPM already. My turn next year. Uurgh, don't even remind me about it.
But really, i just miss them.
* Alah, forgot again to take pic with them*
Before i get back, i manage to get this from someone who i met for just few minutes for just wanted to give Xmas present.

Yup, yup. I open the gift straight away when i reached home. I just can't wait for Xmas. A sport MP3 player. Thanks a lot. You just really know what to get me. I loveeee it.. & haha you wanna hear it, you too...

The sun set, mum, Eric & myself went to churh for Advent confession.
Although i have to wait for 2 hours until it reach my turn, somehow i felt at ease after my confession to the Father.
Its like you don't really keep anything bad in you anymore & that was a relief. God knows.

Today was a good day. May not the best day but enought to make me feel happy & fun for a while.
The best training session i ever had.
The best training in my whole 6 years of sports experience.
Ok, maybe it is not count as training but still, it was fun.
We went for normal jog at the beach, general warmup & we had activities. We had the shuttle speed run, 2 group versus each other in a cone-collect game, cycling race & a handball game . Even Papa Jahat join in this time. Not forgetting the cyclers. Laura, Laurell & the other boys. It was really kind of them to join in, but i guess, they too felt quite thrilled with the whole game thing. Last but not least, we even had potluck as our Xmas feast. Haha.

Seniors, Papa Jahat, Konea & me. Diana, Geoann & Laura. Still having the Fransiscan spirit.
Us. Konea, Pungit & myself. I know. It looks like i have the darkest skin there.

Papa Jahat & Geoann 'ss'. Dunno what the 'coach' was looking at. Geoann sasat this. hee
This two sasats are hmm.. I can say they're been my closest seniors of all.. May not be in high school anymore but still kuat main this..

Nahh my'cucu' & me.. Glad that she showed up today. Have been missing for training for the whole week on account of being sick.. Kesiann.. heh

The training today had been considered our last training of the year since we're celebrating CHRISTMAS next week.
I'll miss the seniors of course since i don't really get to meet them often since they're off to their own further education. Even the kids of the 'coach', especially hah my gang, little Dunstan. Forgot to take picture with him. Fortunately, i do get him & Dexter chocolate that they wanted. :)

Soo now, i'm thinking of a decision to made regarding a play organised by the ISCEP ALUMNI. Knowing me, i'm really not a dramatic person & i can't even make it to the practices most of the time. If i can't even come to the most of the practices, what's the point of me being in it??
It's not the reason of because of i'm not into the play or even ALUMNI itself. It just that i know myself too well that i can't make it & it bugged me.
They will kill me they read this but..
I actually kinda hope they read it so i don't have to spill the beans to their faces.. Don't get me wrong. It's a good play. People should heard the news by January.

Nah, here's Ralph. As usual the lead actor. The troublesome boy. The character that he acts.

Now, i don't want to think of this or training. Just looking forward for a happy, jolly Xmas. My family treat this day as a very, very special day where family must gather to celebrate together. I should appreciate this holidays left before school reopen. Sigh
" Joy to the World...."

Ho, Ho, Ho..

2008-12-17T03:12:00.000-08:00

So This Is Christmas

So this is Christmas

but there's no snow at sight
It's not the way that I remember
what I think to weigh December white
So this is Christmas
I don't have much word to give
This is Christmas
Find it in you heart to forgive
'cause this is Christmas time
Rent me for pardon
and I'll make it up to you
the sight screwed up so many times
now my emotions all starts going down
So this is Christmas
I don't have much word to give
This is Christmas
Find it in you heart to forgive
'cause this is Christmas time
You didn't know me then
Now you know me now
You didn't see me back then
But now you see me now
So this is Christmas
I don't have much word to give
This is Christmas
Find it in you heart to forgive
'cause this is Christmas time

Well, well, well.. It's the Advent season & Christmas is NEXT WEEK!!
Woow, it's doesn't really occur in my mind until i have a little daydream just now.
Sadly, i didn't really get to go to a lot of Xmas shopping. But the plus sign is,
i do have my Xmas attires already, so i don't really have to worry about that.
Mum always insist of feminine, decent clothes during the wonderful day of the year so i get myself a dress for the day. A blouse & skirt for the Xmas Eve.
That should be nice, enough to make my family satisfied with how i look that day. I don't want my grandma give me any disturbing look, if you know what i mean.
I know i didn't always look sooo girly in people's eyes. Only on rare occasions so i do know why people somehow twinge when i have that look.

So have i been a bad girl this year in Santa's Xmas list??
Hmm, honestly i don't think so.. More of in trouble without me expecting it.
I'm just happy that i'll be seeing all my dearest cuzzys on that day.
We don't really get to meet often, you know. They have work, studying abroad..
So it felt really good up to gain up the spirit & tighten our family bond.
But as i grow, my Xmas gifts should be getting less than more since its always the little ones who's getting more.
But i don't really mind thou..
The best Xmas gift ever that i should ever get is having all my family there that day.
Having they smile & laugh is truly the best memory ever.

Still.. A little wonder..
What is he going to get me this year??
That's one.
What would the new year brings??
Anyway, we're just human being. We never know what God plans for us.
I never quite understood how life goes.
Every step that we take will totally bring a different way in the road.

Reading the lyrics of that very familiar song above all this, i truly have to say..
it's really different compared to the previous years.
I do screw up a lot of things this year & believe me, i have my regrets.
I totally believe it when people said, it's a day of forgive & forget.
I actually would like to try that.
I don't really want to hold on the grudges in my heart anymore.
No more. You hate me, that's up to you. Really.
I don't want to care anymore & i would like to go on life WITHOUT the grudges.
So take & believe it.
I'm trying to be flexible now, one way or another.
Yet, lessons never sink into my head but i will try.
No promises of becoming better but
I WILL TRY....

Updated.

2008-12-11T04:39:00.000-08:00

I know, i know.
I've not been updating my blog, not checking my mails, checking my Facebook & Friendster account, in a better word not surfing the net at all. I don't even reply to most of the texts i receive at my mobile phone.
I was in the anti-social mode in the last few days on the account of hating the unknown miscalls & messages that i received lately. Hate it when people don't understand the message that i'm not interested. Not at all.
I'm not being mean or egoistic or whatsoever they wanna call me. But you just can't help it when you get annoying messages at the wrong time. Questions like
" Are you single?"
" Do you have a boyfriend?"
" Hey, can we be friends?"
" I've got your no from one of your friends."
have really been irritate me. Sometimes thoughts like
" Don't you have something else to do?"
" Are you desperate for company?"
" You really annoying."
comes to mind. But i'm not that evil to do that. I don't mind if it's really my friends who's really just trying to keep in touch but i do hate it when it's anonymous since curiosity do kills. Sometimes it's not entirely has to be the unknown, but some people never just seem to get the message which now i ignore. Soo, that's my news.. I've been avoiding people.

Do i miss people??

Umm let me think. Actually i do miss people but i still don't miss school.
Being in school always makes me ponder deeply about things which something i don't really wanna do at the moment. Maybe there are some of my friends who started studying alreading for SPM & i don't really blame them. It's not a stupid thing to do. I just hope that they don't really waste their entire holiday to study. 'Cause that is a definite stupid.

I did a little revision so that i'm not really left behind. I've been occupying time with training so that i didn't stuck at home. Sleep. Eat. Gain weight. Oops, sory. I know most of us are in that situation nowadays. Ok, I know. Am I’m not sick of training? Hey, there’s really nothing better to do nowadays. Family’s just too busy for vacation.I can’t even recall the last time we had one.

In my list of what i should do now...? I'm thinking of buying X'mas gifts for some special people.
But i'm still clueless of what to get them soo that should be a while..

Well, i really intend to put some pictures here just to glow things up a bit, but since lately i was in the anti-social mood, I didn’t really take any cool photos althought my last weekends have been great. Maybe X'mas pics will do & pictures from the upcoming wedding of my dearest cuzzy..
Owh yeah, if anyone intend to buy me any Xmas gift, just get me some interesting novels. Even if i could not finish it by this year after Xmas, i still can read it during my sports tournament at anywhere. After all, i've always going somewhere for sports for the first semester of the year. If really you have any intend to get me one laa..

Haha hoping everyone have nice holidays. Even if you don't get the oppturnity to go anywhere.

Here's a tag.

2008-12-08T04:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry didn't check my blog for a long time. So, i'm not aware this tag by Sulina & i'm gonna do it now as she wish.

1) What is your name?
Ann :)

2) Do you like travelling?
mm hmm yup.

3) Where have you been?
Refreshing back my memories. Ahh hah the whole peninsular M'sia, Korea & Brunei. Not that much actually. Maybe after i graduated from high school.

4)What was the best trip you think?
All the places that i went with my family.

5)When was the best place you can shopping?
KL malls.

6)Which place that you can enjoy the scenery?
Nami Island, South Korea.

7)What is the funniest memory that you still remember?
When i was a little kid, i used to hold any of my parent's hand to be safe. So one day, when we were window shopping at this one place, i was observing people around me & without realising it, i hold this stranger's hand so tightly that he stopped. He give this surprised look & i just stare. At a moment, i was clueless. Then, i realise that wasn't my Papi & i let go his hand. My parents was just looking at me & laughed. I kinda think it's funny thou. It actually gave me goosebumps that time. I was a little kid, ok??

Simple questions & i'm done. Hope your holiday's been great Sulina. I'm not gonna tag anyone this time.

The mail.

2008-12-03T23:14:00.000-08:00

Boy, i was exhausted today.
Training today was EXTRAGAVANT, it was really damn tiring but i don't blame Papa Jahat for doing that since it felt really good to go through such a ravenous workout & get it done with.
I wasn't in the mood actually for training. I almost didnt make it.
I almost just pass the training today but hey, something made me gain the courage up to just go for it. I have this guilty feeling if i absent for training or not capable of doing the workout that was given.
Baa baa don't have to say it, i know la baa i'm weird in so many ways but hey, you're not yourself if you can accept your weirdness, isn't it??
I was quite mad today with Eric & my father.
Yes, my FATHER because...
Mmm, well how to say ahh?? I dunno, i just hate the lecture just now he gave to us in the car & hating it more when i look at Eric's sour face, i can read it. It's the " Owh, whatever you say" kind of look. I was damn annoyed with Eric when i have to be the one that's need to be patient when dealing with his attitude.
Ok, maybe i'm overreact about the whole thing because things like this happen in life, situation where by at one point, a sister was annoyed with the little brother.
A stuborn daughter who refuse to listen to anything that was said by her father or mother just because she think that they were wrong. * But you have to admit sometimes they can be wrong but you just don't want to say it to them, afraid that the mother-daughter talk would be longer*
Parents who always said that they were just doing their responsibility to assure safety & karma of their children & a whole lot more. Sometimes you can't just blame them, just because it's human nature.
Somehow i think because the way i'm saying about all this things, i received an email from my dear cousin who's diving now at Mabul, Sipadan. A long way from home. Abang Bob sent me the mail but seriously, it wasn't something that i expected from him.
It open my heart thou about
F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I..
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.

'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'
He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER
(I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

God bless you

That was the mail he sent me & somehow, it touched me just like a pat on my back. Maybe when commplicated situation happens, maybe we should just chill out.
Haha, thanks Abang for sending just the right greetings from there. You read my mind & i find that very surprising.
I have my meany side in me & there's no doubt about that but i understand that being nice looks very hard but yet it's actually very easy.
We have to admit thou being MEAN is very easy but yet, the result is not pretty.
But that's just me.
Who am I to said about things like this?? Hah, just Ann.
* Just for your information, ok.. I'm not being emotional. Not at all*

Family. We might be annoyed with them but we love them anyway 'cause
they are part of our life..

I HAVE THEM!!

2008-12-01T05:15:00.000-08:00

Guess what??
Yeah * dancing the owh yeah dance*. I get the books that i longing to read.
Owh yeah, you know exactly what i mean.

This ' babies'. owh yeah, yeah. I got them already.
NEW MOON & ECLIPSE.
Now my days are going to be so much better with this babies. Then, i can start on
THE BREAKING DAWN.
Now i know why people are dying to get this books. There's just so mmm, what's the word?
Tempting. Yeah, that's the word. Now i have the whole set already. Gosh, i'm excited & i'm reading NEW MOON now.
Ok, i might sound so anxious but hey, i got it & i don't have to pay it. Someone bought it for me. Hah. That's between us. *Smiles.*
Despite all the anxiousness of reading it, i just have a tiny dissapointment. Eric & i can't show up for training tomorrow for the first time & why?? Just because we don't have transport. If only i can drive now.
Guess i don't have to worry about swimming now, don't i?? Sighhhhh..
WAAIIITTTTT??!!!
Damn, it's December today. Alalala.. Come on.. Time, just move slowly, ok?? God bless us all. Ok, maybe i'm just worried, i sound really pathetic nowadays.
Going to continue on with the NEW MOON thou with a chocolate. Heehee. Sometimes, i just feel like eating chocolates. Chocolates are just heaven, it's kinda hard to resist actually. And i'm trying not to feel guilty because i have always been adviced not to eat chocolates while having training season.
Once in a while baa & NO ONE can stopped me. Yummy.
Thank you, STEPHANIE MEYER for making such great books!

Sigh That's my holiday.

2008-11-29T19:48:00.000-08:00

So here i am in front of the laptop on this beautiful Sunday.. Thinking i really don't know what i am suppose to do today.. Reading my blog & looking at it, i think the layout is quite plain but i'm seriously not in the mood of improvising it.. Tomorrow i'm going again to the school athletics training & this time, we will be at Likas for a change of environment.By Tuesday, we'll go for the running & swimming workout. There's a reason for me to worry?? YES.
Because we're going for a swim. It's been like 4 to 5 years since i really dip myself in pool for a swim workout. I'm really not sure if i can swim again. What if i drown?? EEh crazy, what am i thinking??
But REALLY baa.. I really think i can't swim again. Not because i don't want to but i just think i can't. Gosh, whatever laa. We just see what happen.
Anyway, i don't have to go for dress-hunting again for Kak Lon's wedding on December since i found it already. Thank God. Actually, it's not really hard to find a dress, it's just hard to find
a dark blue dress that matches you. One by one of my cuzzys getting married already. Me??
Hmm. Maybe 10 years from now. Just maybe. I really think 26 is the right age to get married. Not to old nor too young. Hah SPM also not yet over.
I think the holidays are going too fast. Another 1 more month before New Year. Maybe it's just me. I'm still not looking forward for next year. Not yet. Just not yet. Some friends i know are dying to get back to school because of the boringness but i think they're crazy. Hey, you don't have to wake up early laa, as early as 5 am everyday. Ok, maybe i do wake up early now for training but still, not that early to get ready.
Hmm, my holiday wasn't that interesting, i guess but at least i didn't stucked at home doing nothing. Feeling like a fatty, lazy, idiot.

By Hans Christian Anderson

2008-11-28T19:00:00.000-08:00

The Little Match Seller - A Christmas story

It was terribly cold and nearly dark on the last evening of the old year, and the snow was falling fast. In the cold and the darkness, a poor little girl, with bare head and naked feet, roamed through the streets. It is true she had on a pair of slippers when she left home, but they were not of much use. They were very large, so large, indeed, that they had belonged to her mother, and the poor little creature had lost them in running across the street to avoid two carriages that were rolling along at a terrible rate. One of the slippers she could not find, and a boy seized upon the other and ran away with it, saying that he could use it as a cradle, when he had children of his own. So the little girl went on with her little naked feet, which were quite red and blue with the cold. In an old apron she carried a number of matches, and had a bundle of them in her hands. No one had bought anything of her the whole day, nor had anyone given her even a penny. Shivering with cold and hunger, she crept along; poor little child, she looked the picture of misery. The snowflakes fell on her long, fair hair, which hung in curls on her shoulders, but she regarded them not.

Lights were shining from every window, and there was a savoury smell of roast goose, for it was New-year's eve—yes, she remembered that. In a corner, between two houses, one of which projected beyond the other, she sank down and huddled herself together. She had drawn her little feet under her, but she could not keep off the cold; and she dared not go home, for she had sold no matches, and could not take home even a penny of money. Her father would certainly beat her; besides, it was almost as cold at home as here, for they had only the roof to cover them, through which the wind howled, although the largest holes had been stopped up with straw and rags. Her little hands were almost frozen with the cold. Ah! perhaps a burning match might be some good, if she could draw it from the bundle and strike it against the wall, just to warm her fingers. She drew one out—“scratch!” how it sputtered as it burnt! It gave a warm, bright light, like a little candle, as she held her hand over it. It was really a wonderful light. It seemed to the little girl that she was sitting by a large iron stove, with polished brass feet and a brass ornament. How the fire burned! and seemed so beautifully warm that the child stretched out her feet as if to warm them, when, lo! the flame of the match went out, the stove vanished, and she had only the remains of the half-burnt match in her hand.

She rubbed another match on the wall. It burst into a flame, and where its light fell upon the wall it became as transparent as a veil, and she could see into the room. The table was covered with a snowy white table-cloth, on which stood a splendid dinner service, and a steaming roast goose, stuffed with apples and dried plums. And what was still more wonderful, the goose jumped down from the dish and waddled across the floor, with a knife and fork in its breast, to the little girl. Then the match went out, and there remained nothing but the thick, damp, cold wall before her.

She lighted another match, and then she found herself sitting under a beautiful Christmas-tree. It was larger and more beautifully decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door at the rich merchant's. Thousands of tapers were burning upon the green branches, and coloured pictures, like those she had seen in the show-windows, looked down upon it all. The little one stretched out her hand towards them,
and the match went out.

The Christmas lights rose higher and higher, till they looked to her like the stars in the sky. Then she saw a star fall, leaving behind it a bright streak of fire. “Someone is dying,” thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only one who had ever loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star falls,
a soul was going up to God.

She again rubbed a match on the wall, and the light shone round her; in the brightness stood her old grandmother, clear and shining, yet mild and loving in her appearance. “Grandmother,” cried the little one, “O take me with you; I know you will go away when the match burns out; you will vanish like the warm stove, the roast goose, and the large, glorious Christmas-tree.” And she made haste to light the whole bundle of matches, for she wished to keep her grandmother there. And the matches glowed with a light that was brighter than the noon-day, and her grandmother had never appeared so large or so beautiful. She took the little girl in her arms, and they both flew upwards in brightness and joy far above the earth, where there was neither cold nor hunger nor pain, for they were with God.

In the dawn of morning there lay the poor little one, with pale cheeks and smiling mouth, leaning against the wall; she had been frozen to death on the last evening of the year; and the New-year's sun rose and shone upon a little corpse! The child still sat, in the stiffness of death, holding the matches in her hand, one bundle of which was burnt. “She tried to warm herself,” said some. No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, nor into what glory she had entered with her grandmother, on New-year's day.

Somehow, i like to believe that Santa do exist. Love the story.

Hmm here goes..

2008-11-26T03:06:00.000-08:00

Hey there. I get tagged by my dear friend, Nini. So, i'll just do it like i always do. I'm kinda in a very blurry mood now, something been bothering me but nevermind about that. So & so.. I'm glad that dear Nikki found my blog. It's been like 2 years since i see you gal & i know you're doing well now in New Zealand. Althought you are very far from here, i still remember that you have always support me throught your words when i first writed my blog & how deppresed i am that time. Will always remember you. So, here goes.

1. do you think you're hot?
Honestly, i do think i'm hot. Hahaha

2. upload a favourite picture of yourself

What am i thinking?? I dunno. :)

3. do you like the picture?
Yup.

4. when was the last time u ate pizza?
Half an hour ago.

5. what was the last song u listened to?
I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Such a nice song.

6. what are you doing right now besides this?
Online.

7. what name do you prefer besides your name?
aAnn

8. 5 people i tagged xDD
No one. Like i say, not in the mood. Too bad.
I'va changed my mind.
>Sulina
>Nazrin OBT
>Joy
>Amirah
>Aqilah

9. who is number 1?
My dearest junior, friend who i never thought that she can speak chinese. :)

10. who is number 3 having a relationship with??
Who ah Joy?? Maybe she can tell

11. say something about number 5
Edna's buddy & girlfriend & reading her blog, i assume that she's really a nice girl.

12. how about number 4?
My ex Sri Gaya buddies 's friend & classmate.

13. who is buddy number 2?
My ex-classmate way back in primary school. Haha very 'sasat' guy. Kidding, Naz.

So, i'm done. You should be happy now, Nini. LOL :)
Going to sleep now. Having the school athetics training again tomorrow morning. Will be seeing Konea sasat.
Owh ya, read Jane's blog just now. She's going to watch TWILIGHT. The one movie i'm looking forward to watch.
What a bummer! I mean, I'm happy that Jane are going to watch with her friends. It's me who don't have the chance to go & watch it yet.

X'mas is coming!! Yeah!!

2008-11-24T19:24:00.000-08:00

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

from the film Meet Me In St. Louis
Hugh Martin, Ralph Blane 1943

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

X'mas sounds so wonderful & nice, isn't it?? It's the only time when my whole family will gathered up, waiting to open the X'mas gifts under the tree. By December, the tree will slowly, filled with gifts, which everyone are eager to open them. Even me. hEEHee.. Yeah i know i'm a big girl already, but so what??
IT'S A HOLY, JOLLY, CHRISTMAS.
Of course i can't wait to open my gifts. Everytime Eric & me balik kampung especially during the moments of X'mas season, there's nothing stopping us to go & check the gifts under the X'mas tree. We will check our names on the gifts, counting them & compare who get more gifts. "Macam budak-budak, kan?" I know. :)

Like the lyrics above, i wish i'll have my heart light too. But not only heart, also BODY, MIND & SOUL. Hahaha but seriously, i just hope this holidays are getting better each day & i wouldn't think much about anything else other than having a good time with my family. Things wasn't going so well between me & my mum lately. Surprisingly, Eric & me didn't argue much, even over silly stuff. Something wrong with him?? No, he just grown to become wiser & taller.
* Yeah, day by day & the day will come when i have to looked way,way up to see him.* For sure, as New Year approach, i'm not looking forward for any arguements with anyone because that will only cost me bad relationships & we don't want that to happen.

" O holy night, the sun are brightly shinining, la la la"
I'm humming X'mas songs now, putting myself in joyful mood of X'mas. I think everyone should. You'll put that wide, brigh smile on your face, be jovial and positive. I can't wait to go for gift-hunting with mum, maybe things get better. I have a huge family, ok. There's always a name list of them to make sure we get them something. We do not want to forget anyone just like every year.
One of my wish for Santa this year is, hopefully my troubles will be miles away too.

Counting the days to X'mas. Too bad there's no snow here. That would be nice.

*Sigh**

2008-11-24T02:37:00.000-08:00

Am i'm that hard to be understood?? I don't get people sometimes.Or maybe people just don't get me. *Sigh** I'm being sighing all night today just because the words that been ringing in my head. Gosh, people.. All i want is just a relaxing holiday. Damn you, you & YOU. I'm annoyed with everyone now. I should just keep my mouth shut & my mind close in every, single, thing.

So, i went to the athletics training today by 'Papa Jahat'. Seeing a lot of juniors & it makes me think of Joujo, Vian & Ona. When it comes to this kind of training, i have always trained with them but starting from now, not anymore. 'Cause they're having SPM now & leaving high school already. I'll miss them for sure. It's just gonna be the same, maybe slightly different in terms of training mates. Anyway, i had expected what the workout be today. And yes, it's a run of 5 km up & down the hills. Ok, i know. I SUCK IN LONG DISTANCE RUN. I mean, you can ask me to sprint few times than to run long distance. It suppose to be LSD. LONG. SLOW.DISTANCE. but yeah, its not really slow. You can even ask me to play 5 games of netball under the sun with me playing the position CENTER but i still suck in long distance run. Hmm so yeah i completed it but i don't feel like it's a proper run. It's just not.

I'm just not satisfied with everything today. I'm not complaining but things are just so, soo, soooo WRONG today. Even my netball shoots are not getting into the ring during the netball game today.Why is that? I dunno. Dammmnn.

Need to relax..

2008-11-23T05:25:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah.. I know thinking is a normal think but i just can't stop thinking. I mean, being positive is easy but continue being optimistic is hard. Trying to engage myself with works are not helping at all. I should be calm right now 'cause it's holidays. No matter how worry i am about stuff, not looking forward to 2009 & all, i still need a break in everything, making my mind peaceful again. So here's some idea, althou it sound & look easy but knowing myself, everything seem so hard nowadays.

HOW TO RELAX??
( Source from every single information i get & conclusion of my mind )

Make healthy food choices. Sugar and caffeine are our enemies, as they both cause severe ups and downs, upsetting our body's ability to regulate energy. Instead of sugary, carbohydrate loaded snacks (like cookies or granola bars), eat fresh fruits and whole grain breads or crackers (sugar-free). Make sure get plenty of low-calorie protein, like that found in chicken, fish, whole grains, beans, dark leafy vegetables, or low-fat dairy.

Well, sometimes fast food is something you just can't resist :)

2. Find a quiet place when we can feel overwhelmed . Even the stall of a bathroom will work if you have no other place to go.

3. Close your eyes and picture your own personal paradise. Put yourself there and imagine the setting. What do you see around you? Is there a breeze? What do you hear--birds? Waves? Water? Imagine yourself thoroughly enjoying every moment here in your special place.

4. Breathe. Inhale deeply, count to five, then exhale slowly, counting to five. Do this ten times.

5. Relax in bed. Take a bath, play soft music, and lay down in bed. Read a book and clear your mind of all the stress and rush of the day.

6. Avoid people who are constantly angry or complain. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters.

7. Stop engaging in behaviors that make you feel guilty. Seek help from a professional if necessary, but don't allow destructive behavior to sabotage your life and your health. Guilt is a potent source of stress, so get rid of the source of guilt by behaving yourself.

8. Exercise every day. You don't need to work out like a body builder or celebrity. At least twenty minutes (or more, if you like) every day of moderate activity, like walking or bike-riding, is the best known, scientifically proven way to significantly reduce stress. Walk on a treadmill every day for twenty minutes, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and park a little further away from the entrance to stores. You will be amazed at how much easier you overcome stress when you exercise regularly. 9. Learn to prioritize. Learn to be proactive and take care of things before they become a problem, then your time will be more productive and you will feel less stress. Make a list of tasks you must accomplish that day. Put the most important things at the top and list every task in descending order of importance.

10. Draw a warm bath, light candles around your tub, dim the lights, add bubbles, lavender, or just keep the water plain.* Just be extra careful with the candles thou*

11. Curl up on your couch with a blanket, and a good book, maybe even a cup of tea or cocoa.

12. Lay on your bed or sofa, have some soft music playing in the background (or nature CDs) and listen to ocean waves, waterfalls, or birds.

13. Go for a walk. If you live near a park with a fountain, or near a beach or lake, the calming sound of water will soothe you. Just a regular walk will also relax you.

14. Swim. Either at your local pool, a friend or relatives home, or in a lake. Swimming is great for reducing stress.

15. Do the activities or hobbies that relax you (fishing, sewing, singing, painting, taking photographs), whatever it is that keeps your mind off the things that normally stress you out, or things that you just need a break from every now and then.

16. Spend time with your pet. Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better. Or just cuddle or play with your pet. They'll love it and so will you.

17. Think positively.

18. Practice meditation. Try to remove all thoughts and emotions other than your controlled breathing from your mind. It's really difficult; some Buddhist monks practice it their whole life! However, it can be very rewarding. Maybe,. Just maybe.

Wow, baby meditate. Don't think i can even do it.

19. Think of the ocean and how calming the rushing waves crash upon the shore.

20. Do you know self-hypnosis? Then take a few deep breaths, focus on something, and go into self-hypnosis.

21. Read a book or an article that makes you think. It might be of a leader like Martin Luther King or it might deal with minds like Frankl. Whatever inspires your thoughts to a positive useful life seems to add new energy.

22. Smile and laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine. This is quite true. Go rent, buy, or see a hilarious movie. That is guaranteed to help.

23. Work! Although this may sound counteractive to our goal, procrastination never truly feels as good as having no work to do. So get it done now, and then you can relax even better.

Ok, that such a long list but i'll try it anyway. At least a long list means more choices that i can choose to relax. Just for anyone's information, i'm not a stress freak, workaholic or whatsoever that not approriate in mind. Everyone have their thing, bad or good times, happy time, stressful time, & so on.. I just want to have a nice holiday, where i'm not imagining myself in school for freakin senior year. Life has never been easy nor fair & that's why this holiday should be appreciate by me, in every way. After all, everyone, i mean, most of the teenagers now are having a good, relaxing time & i am not so much different than them. So i should be having a relaxing time now. Should be.

"If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it." --- Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC), The Histories of Herodotus

Owh no..

2008-11-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

Guess what? I found out that the 2nd book is NEW MOON & not BREAKING DAWN. Feel such like an idiot. That's why la you, Ann.. Didn't check properly. Gosh. So i think i will have to find a way to get NEW MOON & ECLIPSE then. I'm so not gonna read BREAKING DAWN until i found the other two books. Wish me luck in getting those two books. Reading TWILIGHT now. Loving it already.

P.s Barely talking now because of the ulser i have now. Hate it.. :(

Laa laa laa..

2008-11-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

Sooo... how's my day??? Umm it's ok.. Really.. Went out with Miss Tom because it's been quite a while since i see her & it's really good to have company for today. After all, my friends were out from town & i really need to do something different than my routine. Such as finishing school stuff, training, watching TV, etc. Anyway, we met around afternoon time, had lunch at Pizza Hut & had this long chat about each other. I'm glad to see her all right & we talked almost about everything. Then, the best part. Went to Times & bought books that i'm really dying to read.

Yeah. TWILIGHT. I'm sure that almost everyone know this book now. I started quite late actually but who cares? At least i have something to do for this few days. Reading is just one of my hobby. And guess what??

Bought the 2nd book as well. BREAKING DAWN. :) Owh yes, thanks to Miss Tom.

She bought the books for me. She know i love reading, & pretty much, every time we go out together, i will never go home empty handed because she will always but at least one book for me. Thanks a lot, Miss. You really made my day. Then, we went to Secret Recipe for another chit chat. We talked about sports, * duh, we always talked about that* what had happened recently & what's the new updates. We were talking quite a while there, catching back old memories. I kept saying this, but seriously, it felt really good to meet her & talk. Not only me actually, any other young athletes would actually said the same. How i wish she would join for us the netball state level next year. But she would go for athletics. Btw, she's a teacher who is really still young in heart. Oops she still young baa, mentally & physically.. Hehe :) Owh yeah, i guessed we're in the X'mas spirit now. Seeing a lot of X'mas tress nowadays around the malls. So, will be seeing a lot of X'mas gifts under our X'mas tree early December. Hehe yeah, that's cool.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh."

P.s Owh Eric just got back & now he's a UP Staff in BSMM. Isn't it great? Asked him if got anyone from Convent. Gosh, not even one.

Missing them..

2008-11-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

I dunno why, but i suddently miss them. MY SPORT BUDDIES, i mean. Maybe its the fact that we don't see each other that often especially the far ones.. When we meet, it's like few weeks staying together in a hostel & centralised training. That's the time when i 'm totally put my mind out about school. We against each other in tournaments then we team up at the nationals. I'm proud of having a lot of friends. That's one of the advantages that i get by joining sports. When i first get myself into this, i never thought that i will this good & meet great athletes every year. But i have to admit, it really took your time & determination to be really good in this. For me, its worth every time & energy i spent. Well, that's just me.

Qilzcha Malan & NorSyaridah. Also known as Chang & Momoy. Love them the most. We know each other when we met in the finals at MSSS 2004 at B'fort. Since then, we meet every year during the state & national levels. Although we're very far from each other, but we tend to keep in touch & become really, really close. Just one thing i have against them. Well, they're from the S'kan team & i'm from the KK team. So, we kinda like against each other every time during the finals in the state level. :) This picture was taken last year. We grow up together in this netball game & I can say that they're really one of my bestest mates.

Another picture of us, but this time we had this another gang. She's MeL from K'ngau. Just joined the Sabah team this year for MSSM & probably the last time too since she's a year older than us. Yeah its this year, 2008 at Putrajaya.

So here's my handball buddies. Soong & Sonia. This was last year during the Handball MSSM. Met them & started to be chosen for this game when i was 14, Form 2 & i've been joining handball ever since.

This was during the Handball MSSS ( state level) at B'fort this year. Yeahye, KK WON GOLD AGAIN. Here's Nina from Kota Marudu, Mira from Tawau & Porgee, my owh-so-call 'lil sis, also from KK but just from the under 15 girls team. * U15 Kk Girls got silver this year*. They're been my friends since the Handball MSSM ( Nationals) last year except Porgee thou. Haha lama already i know her.

Well this are part of it. I just went through the pics that i took during sport for this few years & it brought back old memories. Know something? I've never really good in netball when i was just a little girl & i used to cry when my mum threw the ball to me. But know, it's like 6 years of netball experiences, went through the state & national levels. Funny, isn't it? It took me a while before i get used of holding the ball & played with it. Then, i began to make friends. This is a way of me expressing my stress sometimes & some people might just don't understand it. I didn't expect too actually. Most of them even asked me to slow down because of the SPM next year. Have to get serious & focus this time because it's freakin SPM. BUT kan.... honestly, i don't know how to slow down. Seriously. Well, because it's my final year & i tend to do the best of it. All out. Never mind laa. Let's not think about that now. Thinking back, i'm actually glad that i never miss to get any medal for all the games i join. This year, my ever best achievement was getting the 'Best Under 18 Player Award' for Netball MSSS at Kota Belud.Never fail to get those kind of award actually since i'm 12.* Ceh, ann perasan. Trying to be modest here, hehe* Now, I just miss them especially Chang & Momoy. I wonder what they're doing now.. Owh wait, i forgot someone. Here..

Yup, Porgee & me.. She might be annoying but know what, i miss her too..

P.s MUM & ERIC coming back tomorrow. Owh yeah. Yeah yeah..

Trying to do something..

2008-11-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah, just change my blog skin. Wasn't very happy with the skin that i've had before because it suddenly became very 'sasat'. So, i'm still trying to edit this one, maybe put some new pics or something to write about. Yeah, so it took me a while to change the skin but at least i got one & it's a better one just like Sulina said. Anyway, this few days, its only gonna be dad & me at home since my mum outstation at KL for work & Eric still in camp. It's been like 2 weeks since i see Eric & ssshhhuuussssh.. I MISS HIM!! Miss arguing with him & now i know, what he feels when i'm not around when i'm somewhere for sports which i always do. Eric, come back home fast. I've done some few things lately & i really have to get my life straight again before 2009. Yes, i must do that. Missing a lot of my buddies now. Trying to clear my mind from things i shouldn't be thinking & just relax.. For goodness sake,it's HOLIDAY! Hopefully everyone's holiday a great one..

Again & AGAIN.

2008-11-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

Got tagged again, yes AGAIN by 'mother' of my sasat 'cucu', Jane.. Yeah thats make her my 'anak'. Jane, do tell BLOOP BLOOP, i miss her too & her owner is really no doubt, one loud girl. :) So, here goes, AGAIN.

Rules & Regulations :

#01: - Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

#02: - People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.

#03: - At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

#04: - No tag back!

10 Random Facts of Ann Aletheia A. Manson

1. I dream a lot in becoming someone really great. I dream on having almost everything that i have always wanted anywhere, anytime although it's really impossible.
2. Although i always make a LIST of my plans about anything, it would never actually going to be happen.
3. I suck in taking picture of myself.
4. I always fall in love with the wrong person, most of the time.
5. When my brother & i were little kids, we used to hit on each other while my parents were not at home. We argue a lot over silly stuff.
6. Also when we were little kids, we used to buy titbits such as Smarties, chocolates for ourselves & we will always eat a little by little time to time. We want to beat each other by making sure we're not the one who finish it first. * I feel really lame now*
7. I hate it when someone unknown text me & use a different name.
8. I really can't & don't like the idea of DIET at all. In the sense of starving. I tried once & it doesn't work for me. Food are too good to be resist.
9. I'm very,VERY stuborn. I will argue back if i don't agree on something.
10. I talked & grumbled to myself most of time. People thought i'm insane when i do that but honestly, i really try not to do that in front of people. Especially my parents.

PEOPLE, YOU'RE TAGGED!!
1. Tia
2. Joy
3. Sarah
4. Ryu
5. Nini

Yeah, you people do it ok.. Haha, Jane nah i'm done. :)

Again... :)

2008-11-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

Yes, i get tagged again.. And yes, its by my beloved, sasat 'cucu' again, Konea. But well, since lately, i didn't have any inspiration to write here anything in my blog, so i'll just play the game. * heh*

The last person to tag you is?
Konea

What relationship of you with him/her?
School mate, junior, my friend & my 'cucu'. :)

Your 5 impressions towards him/her.
1) sporty
2) pretty.
3) sporting!
4) crappy most of the time.
5) a great person * although she never believe she is*

The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you.
She bought me a smiley little pillow that i called 'Blurp Blurp' during our study trip at KL last year.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will…
crappy just like her & mmm, a gay?? owh that's SOOO not normal, isn't it??.

If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
dissapointed, no doubt.

If he/she becomes your lover , he/she has to improve on..
trusting herself on what a great person she are & also, no doubt, being straight..* hah*

If he/she becomes your enemy , the reason is...
could be because mmm, mmm, i hurt her feelings??

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Honestly, i guess, most people think that i'm this very show off, selfish person which i'm not because if they just try to get to know me better, i'm actually a very nice person who just deals with life like everybody do.. hey, i'm human too, ok??

The character for you for yourself is?
mmmm active in so many ways depending on the time..

The most ideal person you want to be is?
I just want to myself, in every better way.. I wanted people, my friends to be themselves when they are around me & with that, we can trust each other better as we go on with life. As time passed, they should have known me better than to judge me in a negative way that i'm not.
* That's why you just can't blame me if i have always this doubts about you because i'm just through with EVERYTHING.. *

For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
YOU're just WONDERFUL & really, THANKS for EVERYTHING. That's why ILY!! :)
'Cause i know you're always there for me.. ALWAYS!

Ten unlucky people i tag :P
mmm, here goes..
1. Ning Ning
2. Joshua Ronald
3. Haafiq
4. Jasmine
5. Nazrin OBT
6. Elayne
7. Lloyd
8. Iva
9. Nina
10. Janel

Who is no.2 having relationship with?
haha, dunno.

Is no.3 a female or a male?
Male. :)

If no.7 and no.10 be together would it be a good thing?
Haha i don't think so.. Really..

How about no.5 and 8?
Ok, Luqman is SOOOO gonna kill Naz then.. We don't want that to happen, right?? * Iva, Luq knows Naz.. We're ex-schoolmates, too bad all 3 of us in different schools now.*

What is number 1 studying ?
She's in high school, MS. Same age as I am.

When was the last time you have chat with them?
IU Day, i guess..

Is number 4 a single?
Haha, maybe Jas can said something about that.. :)

Talk something about no.2.
He's one year younger than me. He used to be at the same class with brother way back in primary school. Just finished PMR & hope he'll passed with flying colours. A nice guy.

Haha. sometimes being tagged is just.. mmmm.. nice.. Answering all this questions just makes you think & appreciate all the wonderful things that happened to you.. * ngeh, ann, ann* :)