Luck, luck,luck.

So it have been a very, long busy week.......
It's a wonder that i'm still able to update this blog of mine..
It just because sometimes i can't make myself sleep early although i'm very exhausted that day..
I dunno, that's just me..
And somehow i'm kinda used to the remarks that people made..
That i look tired...
But that thinner part is so untrue..
I have never become skinny & i never will...
hah??! :p
Anyway, lot of things have happened for the past few days..
Mini Sports Day was last Saturday, where by i managed to remain my stake as the gold medal winner for the 400 m Hurdles race & still silver medal for 3rd year in the row for 4x400m.
I was nervous for nothing.. Ceh, perasan..
Frankly, i was better in my run. I knew it 'cause i felt it & hey, that was a damn good thing.
Then on Monday until Wednesday for the week we had EXCEL..
It was ok but i dunno la..
I bet my classmates, most of them have hardly studying for it since everyone was excited for
SPORTS DAY!!
Duh, isn't it obvious??
It's because of the cheer of course..
And yeahye FOKKER won the cheerleading & also marching!!!
We get 3rd with the whole thing but we had fun.
I even felt the nerve for 100 m Hurdles Race but hah, i get throught it.
Whhuiih, it felt really great especially knowing it would be my final run for that event after 5 years..
Hahaha it's holiday now for our school!!!
But.........................
sad thing, No NOO holiday for me...
Yes.
Sigghhhh..............................................
umm again
siggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................................
I guess i'm kinda used to it.............................
NETBALL MSSSG KK IS COMING, ON THE 29TH-31ST JAN!!
After training so hard, alas IT'S FINALLY ALMOST HERE!!
I'm kinda nervous i think..
Final, FinaL. FINAL!!!
Woww.
I'm worried & anxious.
Lady Luck, please be on our side this time.
And also.
EQUUS SHOW THIS WEEK!!
The 1st show have just started...............
Hope we can pull this off!!
After they have worked really hard for this....
Hey......... A big, biggy smile for them!!
So now, i just need pray that i can break a leg & pull everything off..
Please, please & please......
My brain is cracking crazily & i need my damn resttttt!!!!
Nite, nite everyone.
Kindly pray for me & my team that we can break a leg in the tournament & come back to Convent with a smile & a trophy!!!

GOOD DAY??!!

I am about to say that i'm having a good today today just few hours ago..
Not the best day in my life, but just a good day..
Guess i spoke too soon, isn't it??
Actually, i have a lot of things to be happy about TODAY...........
Even the most little thing can make me happy at that very moment...
Everyone in class was so super excited for the SPORTS DAY tomorrow..
They make cheer skirts, talk like sot-sot today & we're just really like this bunch of crazy people who somehow stuck in this all-girls school..
I wasn't even feeling tense about anything but just having a fun, fun time with my girlfriends just now........

But the real REASONS WHY I CAN BE SO HAPPY TODAY???!!.....:

1) We FINALLY get our MSSG netball call-letter from Maktab Sabah during 'pulang' time today.
YES, yes & its about time we get it. We have been working really hard for it & somehow, i felt shouting to the teachers in charge, " Hah, you see. I TOLD YOU!!!" I feel like jumping in the air that time as i have been really patient waiting for it after being comdemn by the 'superior'. Ish..

But that was that time...

2) At last, Dad found the perfect tuition for me.
It's not really a tuition, but morely an Education Centre. I have been searching for the best place to continue my extra lessons since the extra lessons i get in the tuition centre before wasn't really just right for me & since then, i have been searching everywhere for it. Place that have no distractions from study. At least i don't have to worry about that anymore.

3) I haven't have a single arguement with anyone today.
Not even teachers nor my family. I didn't have to deal with all the teacher's crap & rebel against it. The 'superior' can take a relieved sigh now.
But that's what they thought.

4) I've been talking with my sports buddies whom i miss so much.
I am really looking forward to meet them and that's why i really, really wanna go Keningau for the netball state level next month. It's our final year baaaaa & i'm soooooo wannnnna meet Chang, Momoy & Mel. I wannnnaaaaa huuuggggggg them so tightly until they gonna cry.
I even met Larry just now & somehow, he reminds me of our days in Likas hostel.

5) I have come to my senses & in the term of trying to believe that my family actually love me.
Ok, i know this is like super crap but hey, i didn't felt loved for quite a long time. Even Eric whom have been one annoying brother that a girl can have, also have been really supportive with me.

6) He loves me........ Nguhahahaahaha

But i dunno, life is sometimes so UNFAIR to me.
This day had been really 'freakin good & i felt on top of the world at one tiniest moment
UNTIL
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
COACH CALLED ME!
Yes, she call me & told me some unexpected news that i SOOOOOOOOOOOO
wanna punch anything that was around me at that time..........
Teacher ****** don't show up for the netball meeting at all during this afternoon,
leaving a question mark to my coach... ?????????
I was so positive about the whole netball thing but SEE???!!!
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED NOW.
WHY??!!!
JUST TELL ME WHY??!!
I am just a student, a girl who happens to love this game & become really good in this.
It's my ' FREAKIN FINAL YEAR baaaaa.........
WHAT HAVE WE DONE???!!
NOTHING.
We just train really hard.
I worked my ass off for the team & i wasn't even suppose to coach them..
DAMN, damn, damnnnnnn........................
Fortunately, coach told me what to do to ensure my school team's entry in the tournament.
Phhuiiihhh....
I WANNA GO KENINGAU & MELAKA THIS YEAR!!
Yes, for MSSM!!!
Somehow, they'll feel sorry for this.
For now, i'm just gonna be a little patient with them cause
i am so irritated to THE MAX now with this people.............................
I can just annoy them until they really going to avoid me..
And you think, i'm gonna care??
No way, man....
Ok, i'm gonna get my sleep now.
I just hope i can run & jump the hurdles tomorrow...
I know, i can run & jump but i just dunno if i can go really fast like last year.
It would be my last run of athletics, i suppose.
So i just need all the luck i can get...

Me????

Konea, Konea.. First tag of 2009!! Hmm you wanna see how weird i am, do you???
So here goes..................

Directions:

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you.
At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.
Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog.
You can't tag the person who tagged you.
Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

#1. Well, if people ask me about email, i will put that "mmm, should-i-tell??" face for a moment..
#2. 'cause my email have a WEIRD name.
p.s don't even ask me about it. It's been a long, long time ago.
#3. But just so you ask, i used to be a little 'tomboy' when i was like 12. That's how it started.
I still have a problem become really feminine with me involve in sports..
#4. I hate lovey dovey words. All those 'jiwang' talk.
#5. I am a very REBELLIOUS person. That's why teachers hate me.
#6. I hate the SCHOOL RULES despite with who i am in school.
#7. I HATE FAKE PEOPLE. I like people who be their ownselves.
#8. I'm trying not to HATE people who been really mean to me.
Maybe just DISLIKE .
#9. I love watching SLAM DUNK. Yeah yeah, the ANIMAX cartoon.
#10. I like kiddies food. Like the HAPPY PANDA cookies.
#11. If you see me very HYPER on that day, then something is freakin wrong with me.
I think Jane is the one who always notice that.
#12. I can be very nice if you want to & very MEAN if you did something that you will sorry for. So watch out your words & acts. Scared?? Don't be. Just AFRAID.. Nguahahahahah HAHAHA.
#13. I can be very happy with little things & very SAD in little things too..
Ok, i don't get it too..
#14. I feel like punching the people who spell my second name wrongly. I think my second name is very rare. :)
#15. I'm normal in weirdness. HAHAHAHAHAHA
#16. I felt like a lowest scum at this very moment.

Tagging:
Surya- I MISS seeing her become DORKY!!!

Hanabanana - 'cause she can be really silly if she want to.. HEHE

Naz ary- Just to see how weird he is now or maybe normal.........

Qay- 'cause lama i didn't see him...

Tia -'cause if you know her, you'll see the crazy side of her..

Happy Birthday MOHANA RAMANEE!!!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to youuuuu,
Happy birthday to MOHAN................
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU!!!!

Dear Mohan,
i don't know if you'll ever read this but just bear in mind that i have always love you..
Despite the ups & down that we had in our friendship, you have always been one of the bestest friend a girl can ever have & i felt lucky that
i'm one of them....
Our friendship have been years.......
5 years of sitting next to each other...
Talking, laughing, even joging...
All those little things that i've spent with you have been really great..
Although we might grow apart one day, even maybe now,
do remember this.......
I've always love you & you will always and truly be
A PART OF MY LIFE..............................
Thanks Mo for everything.......

With love,
your Annieeeee.....

Friends.............. ILY!!!

It's Final....

So yeah the St Francis Convent Cross Country was over & know what, it was my last cross country of high school life....
I'm glad that i wasn't feeling the nerve, just knowing it's my last makes me just wanna try my best & aim what i always aim, the top 10...
I just felt cold all through the run, since it is raining season, but it wasn't raining on the day,
JUST VERY COLD.....
But i get better, get FIFTH in the cross country
It was my first time gettin top 5 and also would be my last..
But cross country was never my thing, so getting a trophy in this particular event makes me feel
wooow...
That's something..
That trophy was the shortest one in my trophy collection...
Mostly was the netball trophies and that's new in my collection...
My MUM even join the PIBG category this year, & that's the better news..
She get FIRST in the woman category....
She was great, really...
She took the day off just to follow the run knowing that it's my final year in Convent...
Mum was somehow the centre of attention....
When it was her turn to take the 1st prize, the TROPHY,
everyone was shouting,
" ANN'S MUM!!!!"
"MAMA ANN!!!"
Boy, i was smiling....
She was smiling too...
We even took a picture together with our trophies but yeah, its with Gwen, the SRM photographer....
So here is it....
See the difference??? But hey, i should be proud, right??

Yeah, obviously we know who is whose... But still, mum-daughter win.. Yeeahhh...

Knowing it's my final year, i know i would do my best in every single thing that i do..
I've learned how to control my nerves so that i wouldn't feel nervous for any competition but just have a little confidence in things...
I'll miss all of this when this is over, having my friends arounds me where we cheered, compete & yet the friendship bond grow even closer....

Yeah, i'll miss them... Miss all the memories i have with them...

Love each one of them.... And yeah the FOKKER board too...

Netball MSSG KK is postponed to the end of month giving us more time to prepare...
Wanna end my netball year in MSSM with another great memories...
Nonetheless, the best one ever.....
Just talked to the coach recently & this year the NETBALL MSSS, the state level will be at Keningau on the early Feb...
Hopefully GOLD from the KK team this year....
After losing just ONE GOAL from Sandakan last year causing us to get silver...
but we'll have our revenge, i hope...

Yeah just one more trophy from my final year.. Yeah, it's netball's.........

God have gave me blessed years of netball & i appreciate every single thing of it...

Well, gotta go now... It's gonna be a pretty busy month this January & coming up,
our annual Mini Sports Day... Hate the 400 m Hurdles.. Wish me luck...

I really do HATEEE THEM??!!

Yes, i HATEEEEE them..!!
If you were wondering, it is my 'beloved' school whom i hated so much..
I think you can see that in my Facebook status.. If i'm only an average student in school,
i really will make a " HATEE THE SCHOOL!!!!" banner & start a riot..
I shouldn't be getting any problem at school on the first week but yes, i am having trouble now in school..
The problem to ' negotiate' with them ...
They said i was wrong to do this, i have no right to do that & bla, bla, bla...
What it is about???
NETBALL.
Yes, NETBALL.
The game that i loved so much.
The game that i have put everything into. ENERGY. TIME. HARD WORK.
Not even almost, EVERYTHING.
Each year, it's always the same problem that i have to face. What ever bu** s**t that they're been saying, i really don't get them.
Our school team was the only team who's having this trouble. The other school team doesn't seem to have this problem.
Their teachers have always been there to support & assist them.
But WE???
Not even one teacher showed up in our training or at least help us to 'negotiate' with the school with what-so-ever prosedure...
Come on laaa..................
We're putting all our effort in it & every year, we sure to have a placing.
I'm not being over confident here that we will win again this year but at least we are trying our best. Not even just best, OUR VERY BEST..
And again you're blaming me for all this, saying that i simply overdoing thing...
HEELLLLOOOOOO???!!
Have you even ever see us train??
No, right??
Then you guys cannot simply just judge us...
Waiting you guys to give us the approval letter will be like forever..
How i know???
EVERY YEAR like that....
Why the other school can start their training already even without verbally??
Why the teachers are always there to help them with anything??
WHHYYYYY??
I really would like to tell this to my coach, maybe even SOONER....
Compared to previous years also, this year we only a very little time to train..
Only 1 week since last Wednesday.
We even have to skip the cross country practice everyday.

Here's the dates of TAKWIM KOKUM of the year of 2009 * include the academic tests*.

14 JAN - SCHOOL CROSS COUNTRY
15 JAN - EXCEL TEST
* I miss the one day test but it's only BM baa.. I will try to take it later..
15-17 JAN- NETBALL MSSG KK
17 JAN - SCHOOL MINI SPORTS
* I might miss 2 events because of netball or i have to run back to back from Likas Court to Likas Stadium to participate in those events*
19-21 JAN- EXCEL TEST again
22 JAN - SCHOOL SPORTS DAY
2-3 FEB - EXCEL TEST agaaaiiiinnnn
12-14 FEB- NETBALL MSS SABAH
- ATHLETICS MSSD KK
* Bye bye athletics. It clashed, AGAIN this year just like 2007. Now you know why i dreaded to talk to Papa Jahat. Exactly the same date*
18- 23 MARCH - NETBALL MSSM

Handball will be on April, but i still have to really think before i join that.
After all, it's SPM this year. No freakin' joke, SPM!!
I'm worried, of course, don't say i'm not..
And i'm really, really will try my best in doing what is right.
Nowadays, when i'm in school, i prefer to be quiet & stay in class.
' cause honestly, i hate being in the staff room where i've been comdemned day by day.
I dunno how people look & judge me in school now, but frankly, i don't even care.
Hope is always there but yet, i've never expected things to always go my way.
Only simple miracles.
The past week have been rough but true, problem are everywhere.
So, now i'll be not surfing the net for quite a while because of the busy semester.
Maybe sometimes.
Pretty sure most of us will do that now.
I really need all the luck i can get now.
Sometimes, it's just not fair.
Especially when we are trying our best.
Hopefully...,
everyone can understand................................

Just thoughts............

When things gone wrong,
The situation doesn't feel right,
And you feel restless.............
We'll always wish for
A warm hug,
A sincere smile,
A pretty good words to hear,
A soft pat on the back,
And,
A shoulder to lay on...

You wish that
your thoughts will be appreciated,
your heart feel warm,
your mind relaxed,
your body feel comfortable in whatever position.........

You wish you still can
smile,
eat,
talk,
& the spirit to go on with your life...

That's how wishes always are but know what,
things have never always gone our way.............................
We hope, we plan but it's always Him to decide....
We never dare to blame Him because
it's just how life suppose to go...
Enjoyable. But not easy...
What we can do?? you ask...
Just follow your intuition,
Take gratefully the
Joys of life, and........
Leave the rest to
GOD................................

God bless......

WHY???????????????

worried. anxious. tense.
Everything is mixing up in me now.
I'm thinking,
Are the school insane??????
Or maybe not the school, maybe the education minister are crazy..
Torturing students like that..
Just think about it..
Everything is packed even on the first week..
Cross country. Then Excel Test. Then sports. Then test again.
Wt****!!!
Really baaaaaaa......
Now it all come back to square one. The thing that i hope would not happen.
Clashing of my sports dates.
History repeated again.
Somehow i'm sure Papa Jahat gonna kill me.........
How am i gonna face him???
I don't want him to call my coach again....................
After all the hard work we've done during the holidays..
NO. Nooooooooooooo way.......
Am i just gonna let it go like that?? But...................
I. JUST. HAVE. TO.............
I have no choice but to be rasional & sacrifice one of it.
After all, this is my FINAL YEAR & netball is the first game i've started to be discovered
& it's how i slowly, from time to time, go for nationals.
Yeahh, the inter school netball ( MSSG KK) next week..
& Maktab's the host...
Gosh, it right after the School Cross Country & there's no way i'm going for the Mini Sports Day..
If the team can get to the semi's which i hope & AIM we will since it have to be all out this year..
It's just not fair..
But...............................................
On the other hand, i really think that God's trying to help me..........
Because of SPM and all....
What's more, my routine will be pretty exhausting in the coming days........
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................
I clueless.. I don't know what step to take next......
I'm not having my peace now & somehow....................
I don't know how to express this 'cause frankly, it shown all over my face...
Do they understand although they say they are??
I don't know...................
It's hard for me to tell the people in my house 'cause they too have their own problems to be solved...
I guess that how's situation are........
Now i have to find the guts to meet ****....
Sigh.....................
Wish me luck & hope anyone else have a pretty good week 'cause i don't see mine will....

2009's finally here..............

So bye bye bye 2008 and hello, hello to 2009..!
2009.......................
The year i've been dreaded the most........
Since i stepped on in high school...
Siggghhhhhhhhhhh........................................................................................
Every year, i said to myself, even anyone i know..
" Lama again that Form 5, no need for me to be worrying so much.."
But..
here is it, and let me say it again..........
My final year of high school....
My final year of MSSM...........
MY SPM YEAR.......
And i'm not even imagining it this time...
Not anymore...........
Someone told me,
" You should never think of the yesterdays because yesterdays is past & it will never come back..
You should move forward & keep trying on being optimistic."
That's what he says..
And yet i never really stop thinking although i tried my best not to,
all the things that just passed by..
It should be like....
A new year, a new chapter in life...
But i'm not sure about myself??
Have i change??
Am i better or worse???
I would never know actually...........
People keep judging me & frankly, i'm sick of it because that is never what i wanted...
I wish things this year would be different & i'm pretty sure it will 'cause my instincts say so..
I know life has never been easy but ............
Thinking of myself, i might be selfish in so many ways but you see, i' ve never really been that bad.... If you know what i mean......
I'm only human & i just hope people around me can try to understand that fact......
I might be the oldest kid in the family but hey, sometimes i need space for myself too........
School will be starting on the day after tomorrow & i'm not even excited about it...
I know it's just gonna be a start of my exhausting, busy, days.....
But i'm not complaining about that.........
Just people who never seem to even try to understand.........
Really, i try. Try my best not to care about those things..
Pressure is on now & making myself busy after quite a long holiday maybe will help me to stop thinking about complicated things....
Just one more year of high school & i really want to find a path for me to go after that phase in life....
Gosh, would i ever know who to talk to about this???
Hmm well just fingers crossed & smile....
Gonna suck everything in & just smile........
Will even try to forget about the nerve breaking moment that i've been through 'cause it haunt me....
Take a deep breath now &
BRING IT ON........................!