*Sigh* That's my holiday.

So here i am in front of the laptop on this beautiful Sunday.. Thinking i really don't know what i am suppose to do today.. Reading my blog & looking at it, i think the layout is quite plain but i'm seriously not in the mood of improvising it.. Tomorrow i'm going again to the school athletics training & this time, we will be at Likas for a change of environment.By Tuesday, we'll go for the running & swimming workout. There's a reason for me to worry?? YES.
Because we're going for a swim. It's been like 4 to 5 years since i really dip myself in pool for a swim workout. I'm really not sure if i can swim again. What if i drown?? EEh crazy, what am i thinking??
But REALLY baa.. I really think i can't swim again. Not because i don't want to but i just think i can't. Gosh, whatever laa. We just see what happen.
Anyway, i don't have to go for dress-hunting again for Kak Lon's wedding on December since i found it already. Thank God. Actually, it's not really hard to find a dress, it's just hard to find
a dark blue dress that matches you. One by one of my cuzzys getting married already. Me??
Hmm. Maybe 10 years from now. Just maybe. I really think 26 is the right age to get married. Not to old nor too young. Hah SPM also not yet over.
I think the holidays are going too fast. Another 1 more month before New Year. Maybe it's just me. I'm still not looking forward for next year. Not yet. Just not yet. Some friends i know are dying to get back to school because of the boringness but i think they're crazy. Hey, you don't have to wake up early laa, as early as 5 am everyday. Ok, maybe i do wake up early now for training but still, not that early to get ready.
Hmm, my holiday wasn't that interesting, i guess but at least i didn't stucked at home doing nothing. Feeling like a fatty, lazy, idiot.

By Hans Christian Anderson

The Little Match Seller - A Christmas story

It was terribly cold and nearly dark on the last evening of the old year, and the snow was falling fast. In the cold and the darkness, a poor little girl, with bare head and naked feet, roamed through the streets. It is true she had on a pair of slippers when she left home, but they were not of much use. They were very large, so large, indeed, that they had belonged to her mother, and the poor little creature had lost them in running across the street to avoid two carriages that were rolling along at a terrible rate. One of the slippers she could not find, and a boy seized upon the other and ran away with it, saying that he could use it as a cradle, when he had children of his own. So the little girl went on with her little naked feet, which were quite red and blue with the cold. In an old apron she carried a number of matches, and had a bundle of them in her hands. No one had bought anything of her the whole day, nor had anyone given her even a penny. Shivering with cold and hunger, she crept along; poor little child, she looked the picture of misery. The snowflakes fell on her long, fair hair, which hung in curls on her shoulders, but she regarded them not.

Lights were shining from every window, and there was a savoury smell of roast goose, for it was New-year's eve—yes, she remembered that. In a corner, between two houses, one of which projected beyond the other, she sank down and huddled herself together. She had drawn her little feet under her, but she could not keep off the cold; and she dared not go home, for she had sold no matches, and could not take home even a penny of money. Her father would certainly beat her; besides, it was almost as cold at home as here, for they had only the roof to cover them, through which the wind howled, although the largest holes had been stopped up with straw and rags. Her little hands were almost frozen with the cold. Ah! perhaps a burning match might be some good, if she could draw it from the bundle and strike it against the wall, just to warm her fingers. She drew one out—“scratch!” how it sputtered as it burnt! It gave a warm, bright light, like a little candle, as she held her hand over it. It was really a wonderful light. It seemed to the little girl that she was sitting by a large iron stove, with polished brass feet and a brass ornament. How the fire burned! and seemed so beautifully warm that the child stretched out her feet as if to warm them, when, lo! the flame of the match went out, the stove vanished, and she had only the remains of the half-burnt match in her hand.


She rubbed another match on the wall. It burst into a flame, and where its light fell upon the wall it became as transparent as a veil, and she could see into the room. The table was covered with a snowy white table-cloth, on which stood a splendid dinner service, and a steaming roast goose, stuffed with apples and dried plums. And what was still more wonderful, the goose jumped down from the dish and waddled across the floor, with a knife and fork in its breast, to the little girl. Then the match went out, and there remained nothing but the thick, damp, cold wall before her.

She lighted another match, and then she found herself sitting under a beautiful Christmas-tree. It was larger and more beautifully decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door at the rich merchant's. Thousands of tapers were burning upon the green branches, and coloured pictures, like those she had seen in the show-windows, looked down upon it all. The little one stretched out her hand towards them,
and the match went out.

The Christmas lights rose higher and higher, till they looked to her like the stars in the sky. Then she saw a star fall, leaving behind it a bright streak of fire. “Someone is dying,” thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only one who had ever loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star falls,
a soul was going up to God.

She again rubbed a match on the wall, and the light shone round her; in the brightness stood her old grandmother, clear and shining, yet mild and loving in her appearance. “Grandmother,” cried the little one, “O take me with you; I know you will go away when the match burns out; you will vanish like the warm stove, the roast goose, and the large, glorious Christmas-tree.” And she made haste to light the whole bundle of matches, for she wished to keep her grandmother there. And the matches glowed with a light that was brighter than the noon-day, and her grandmother had never appeared so large or so beautiful. She took the little girl in her arms, and they both flew upwards in brightness and joy far above the earth, where there was neither cold nor hunger nor pain, for they were with God.

In the dawn of morning there lay the poor little one, with pale cheeks and smiling mouth, leaning against the wall; she had been frozen to death on the last evening of the year; and the New-year's sun rose and shone upon a little corpse! The child still sat, in the stiffness of death, holding the matches in her hand, one bundle of which was burnt. “She tried to warm herself,” said some. No one imagined what beautiful things she had seen, nor into what glory she had entered with her grandmother, on New-year's day.

Somehow, i like to believe that Santa do exist. Love the story.

Hmm here goes..

Hey there. I get tagged by my dear friend, Nini. So, i'll just do it like i always do. I'm kinda in a very blurry mood now, something been bothering me but nevermind about that. So & so.. I'm glad that dear Nikki found my blog. It's been like 2 years since i see you gal & i know you're doing well now in New Zealand. Althought you are very far from here, i still remember that you have always support me throught your words when i first writed my blog & how deppresed i am that time. Will always remember you. So, here goes.

1. do you think you're hot?
Honestly, i do think i'm hot. Hahaha

2. upload a favourite picture of yourself

What am i thinking?? I dunno. :)

3. do you like the picture?
Yup.

4. when was the last time u ate pizza?
Half an hour ago.


5. what was the last song u listened to?
I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Such a nice song.

6. what are you doing right now besides this?
Online.

7. what name do you prefer besides your name?
aAnn

8. 5 people i tagged xDD
No one. Like i say, not in the mood. Too bad.
I'va changed my mind.
>Sulina
>Nazrin OBT
>Joy
>Amirah
>Aqilah

9. who is number 1?
My dearest junior, friend who i never thought that she can speak chinese. :)

10. who is number 3 having a relationship with??
Who ah Joy?? Maybe she can tell

11. say something about number 5
Edna's buddy & girlfriend & reading her blog, i assume that she's really a nice girl.

12. how about number 4?
My ex Sri Gaya buddies 's friend & classmate.

13. who is buddy number 2?
My ex-classmate way back in primary school. Haha very 'sasat' guy. Kidding, Naz.

So, i'm done. You should be happy now, Nini. LOL :)
Going to sleep now. Having the school athetics training again tomorrow morning. Will be seeing Konea sasat.
Owh ya, read Jane's blog just now. She's going to watch TWILIGHT. The one movie i'm looking forward to watch.
What a bummer! I mean, I'm happy that Jane are going to watch with her friends. It's me who don't have the chance to go & watch it yet.

X'mas is coming!! Yeah!!

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

from the film Meet Me In St. Louis
Hugh Martin, Ralph Blane 1943

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

X'mas sounds so wonderful & nice, isn't it?? It's the only time when my whole family will gathered up, waiting to open the X'mas gifts under the tree. By December, the tree will slowly, filled with gifts, which everyone are eager to open them. Even me. hEEHee.. Yeah i know i'm a big girl already, but so what??
IT'S A HOLY, JOLLY, CHRISTMAS.
Of course i can't wait to open my gifts. Everytime Eric & me balik kampung especially during the moments of X'mas season, there's nothing stopping us to go & check the gifts under the X'mas tree. We will check our names on the gifts, counting them & compare who get more gifts. "Macam budak-budak, kan?" I know. :)

Like the lyrics above, i wish i'll have my heart light too. But not only heart, also BODY, MIND & SOUL. Hahaha but seriously, i just hope this holidays are getting better each day & i wouldn't think much about anything else other than having a good time with my family. Things wasn't going so well between me & my mum lately. Surprisingly, Eric & me didn't argue much, even over silly stuff. Something wrong with him?? No, he just grown to become wiser & taller.
* Yeah, day by day & the day will come when i have to looked way,way up to see him.* For sure, as New Year approach, i'm not looking forward for any arguements with anyone because that will only cost me bad relationships & we don't want that to happen.

" O holy night, the sun are brightly shinining, la la la"
I'm humming X'mas songs now, putting myself in joyful mood of X'mas. I think everyone should. You'll put that wide, brigh smile on your face, be jovial and positive. I can't wait to go for gift-hunting with mum, maybe things get better. I have a huge family, ok. There's always a name list of them to make sure we get them something. We do not want to forget anyone just like every year.
One of my wish for Santa this year is, hopefully my troubles will be miles away too.

Counting the days to X'mas. Too bad there's no snow here. That would be nice.

*Sigh**

Am i'm that hard to be understood?? I don't get people sometimes.Or maybe people just don't get me. *Sigh** I'm being sighing all night today just because the words that been ringing in my head. Gosh, people.. All i want is just a relaxing holiday. Damn you, you & YOU. I'm annoyed with everyone now. I should just keep my mouth shut & my mind close in every, single, thing.

So, i went to the athletics training today by 'Papa Jahat'. Seeing a lot of juniors & it makes me think of Joujo, Vian & Ona. When it comes to this kind of training, i have always trained with them but starting from now, not anymore. 'Cause they're having SPM now & leaving high school already. I'll miss them for sure. It's just gonna be the same, maybe slightly different in terms of training mates. Anyway, i had expected what the workout be today. And yes, it's a run of 5 km up & down the hills. Ok, i know. I SUCK IN LONG DISTANCE RUN. I mean, you can ask me to sprint few times than to run long distance. It suppose to be LSD. LONG. SLOW.DISTANCE. but yeah, its not really slow. You can even ask me to play 5 games of netball under the sun with me playing the position CENTER but i still suck in long distance run. Hmm so yeah i completed it but i don't feel like it's a proper run. It's just not.

I'm just not satisfied with everything today. I'm not complaining but things are just so, soo, soooo WRONG today. Even my netball shoots are not getting into the ring during the netball game today.Why is that? I dunno. Dammmnn.

Need to relax..

Well, yeah.. I know thinking is a normal think but i just can't stop thinking. I mean, being positive is easy but continue being optimistic is hard. Trying to engage myself with works are not helping at all. I should be calm right now 'cause it's holidays. No matter how worry i am about stuff, not looking forward to 2009 & all, i still need a break in everything, making my mind peaceful again. So here's some idea, althou it sound & look easy but knowing myself, everything seem so hard nowadays.

HOW TO RELAX??
( Source from every single information i get & conclusion of my mind )

1. Make healthy food choices. Sugar and caffeine are our enemies, as they both cause severe ups and downs, upsetting our body's ability to regulate energy. Instead of sugary, carbohydrate loaded snacks (like cookies or granola bars), eat fresh fruits and whole grain breads or crackers (sugar-free). Make sure get plenty of low-calorie protein, like that found in chicken, fish, whole grains, beans, dark leafy vegetables, or low-fat dairy.
   

Well, sometimes fast food is something you just can't resist :)

2. Find a quiet place when we can feel overwhelmed . Even the stall of a bathroom will work if you have no other place to go.



3. Close your eyes and picture your own personal paradise. Put yourself there and imagine the setting. What do you see around you? Is there a breeze? What do you hear--birds? Waves? Water? Imagine yourself thoroughly enjoying every moment here in your special place.

4. Breathe. Inhale deeply, count to five, then exhale slowly, counting to five. Do this ten times.

5. Relax in bed. Take a bath, play soft music, and lay down in bed. Read a book and clear your mind of all the stress and rush of the day.



6. Avoid people who are constantly angry or complain. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters.


7. Stop engaging in behaviors that make you feel guilty. Seek help from a professional if necessary, but don't allow destructive behavior to sabotage your life and your health. Guilt is a potent source of stress, so get rid of the source of guilt by behaving yourself.

8. Exercise every day. You don't need to work out like a body builder or celebrity. At least twenty minutes (or more, if you like) every day of moderate activity, like walking or bike-riding, is the best known, scientifically proven way to significantly reduce stress. Walk on a treadmill every day for twenty minutes, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and park a little further away from the entrance to stores. You will be amazed at how much easier you overcome stress when you exercise regularly. 9. Learn to prioritize. Learn to be proactive and take care of things before they become a problem, then your time will be more productive and you will feel less stress. Make a list of tasks you must accomplish that day. Put the most important things at the top and list every task in descending order of importance.

10. Draw a warm bath, light candles around your tub, dim the lights, add bubbles, lavender, or just keep the water plain.* Just be extra careful with the candles thou*

11. Curl up on your couch with a blanket, and a good book, maybe even a cup of tea or cocoa.

12. Lay on your bed or sofa, have some soft music playing in the background (or nature CDs) and listen to ocean waves, waterfalls, or birds.


13. Go for a walk. If you live near a park with a fountain, or near a beach or lake, the calming sound of water will soothe you. Just a regular walk will also relax you.



14. Swim. Either at your local pool, a friend or relatives home, or in a lake. Swimming is great for reducing stress.

15. Do the activities or hobbies that relax you (fishing, sewing, singing, painting, taking photographs), whatever it is that keeps your mind off the things that normally stress you out, or things that you just need a break from every now and then.


16. Spend time with your pet. Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better. Or just cuddle or play with your pet. They'll love it and so will you.


17. Think positively.

18. Practice meditation. Try to remove all thoughts and emotions other than your controlled breathing from your mind. It's really difficult; some Buddhist monks practice it their whole life! However, it can be very rewarding. Maybe,. Just maybe.

Wow, baby meditate. Don't think i can even do it.

19. Think of the ocean and how calming the rushing waves crash upon the shore.



20. Do you know self-hypnosis? Then take a few deep breaths, focus on something, and go into self-hypnosis.



21. Read a book or an article that makes you think. It might be of a leader like Martin Luther King or it might deal with minds like Frankl. Whatever inspires your thoughts to a positive useful life seems to add new energy.

22. Smile and laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine. This is quite true. Go rent, buy, or see a hilarious movie. That is guaranteed to help.

23. Work! Although this may sound counteractive to our goal, procrastination never truly feels as good as having no work to do. So get it done now, and then you can relax even better.

Ok, that such a long list but i'll try it anyway. At least a long list means more choices that i can choose to relax. Just for anyone's information, i'm not a stress freak, workaholic or whatsoever that not approriate in mind. Everyone have their thing, bad or good times, happy time, stressful time, & so on.. I just want to have a nice holiday, where i'm not imagining myself in school for freakin senior year. Life has never been easy nor fair & that's why this holiday should be appreciate by me, in every way. After all, everyone, i mean, most of the teenagers now are having a good, relaxing time & i am not so much different than them. So i should be having a relaxing time now. Should be.


"If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it." --- Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC), The Histories of Herodotus

Owh no..

Guess what? I found out that the 2nd book is NEW MOON & not BREAKING DAWN. Feel such like an idiot. That's why la you, Ann.. Didn't check properly. Gosh. So i think i will have to find a way to get NEW MOON & ECLIPSE then. I'm so not gonna read BREAKING DAWN until i found the other two books. Wish me luck in getting those two books. Reading TWILIGHT now. Loving it already.


P.s Barely talking now because of the ulser i have now. Hate it.. :(

Laa laa laa..

Sooo... how's my day??? Umm it's ok.. Really.. Went out with Miss Tom because it's been quite a while since i see her & it's really good to have company for today. After all, my friends were out from town & i really need to do something different than my routine. Such as finishing school stuff, training, watching TV, etc. Anyway, we met around afternoon time, had lunch at Pizza Hut & had this long chat about each other. I'm glad to see her all right & we talked almost about everything. Then, the best part. Went to Times & bought books that i'm really dying to read.

Yeah. TWILIGHT. I'm sure that almost everyone know this book now. I started quite late actually but who cares? At least i have something to do for this few days. Reading is just one of my hobby. And guess what??

Bought the 2nd book as well. BREAKING DAWN. :) Owh yes, thanks to Miss Tom.

She bought the books for me. She know i love reading, & pretty much, every time we go out together, i will never go home empty handed because she will always but at least one book for me. Thanks a lot, Miss. You really made my day. Then, we went to Secret Recipe for another chit chat. We talked about sports, * duh, we always talked about that* what had happened recently & what's the new updates. We were talking quite a while there, catching back old memories. I kept saying this, but seriously, it felt really good to meet her & talk. Not only me actually, any other young athletes would actually said the same. How i wish she would join for us the netball state level next year. But she would go for athletics. Btw, she's a teacher who is really still young in heart. Oops she still young baa, mentally & physically.. Hehe :) Owh yeah, i guessed we're in the X'mas spirit now. Seeing a lot of X'mas tress nowadays around the malls. So, will be seeing a lot of X'mas gifts under our X'mas tree early December. Hehe yeah, that's cool.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh."

P.s Owh Eric just got back & now he's a UP Staff in BSMM. Isn't it great? Asked him if got anyone from Convent. Gosh, not even one.

Missing them..

I dunno why, but i suddently miss them. MY SPORT BUDDIES, i mean. Maybe its the fact that we don't see each other that often especially the far ones.. When we meet, it's like few weeks staying together in a hostel & centralised training. That's the time when i 'm totally put my mind out about school. We against each other in tournaments then we team up at the nationals. I'm proud of having a lot of friends. That's one of the advantages that i get by joining sports. When i first get myself into this, i never thought that i will this good & meet great athletes every year. But i have to admit, it really took your time & determination to be really good in this. For me, its worth every time & energy i spent. Well, that's just me.

Qilzcha Malan & NorSyaridah. Also known as Chang & Momoy. Love them the most. We know each other when we met in the finals at MSSS 2004 at B'fort. Since then, we meet every year during the state & national levels. Although we're very far from each other, but we tend to keep in touch & become really, really close. Just one thing i have against them. Well, they're from the S'kan team & i'm from the KK team. So, we kinda like against each other every time during the finals in the state level. :) This picture was taken last year. We grow up together in this netball game & I can say that they're really one of my bestest mates.

Another picture of us, but this time we had this another gang. She's MeL from K'ngau. Just joined the Sabah team this year for MSSM & probably the last time too since she's a year older than us. Yeah its this year, 2008 at Putrajaya.

So here's my handball buddies. Soong & Sonia. This was last year during the Handball MSSM. Met them & started to be chosen for this game when i was 14, Form 2 & i've been joining handball ever since.

This was during the Handball MSSS ( state level) at B'fort this year. Yeahye, KK WON GOLD AGAIN. Here's Nina from Kota Marudu, Mira from Tawau & Porgee, my owh-so-call 'lil sis, also from KK but just from the under 15 girls team. * U15 Kk Girls got silver this year*. They're been my friends since the Handball MSSM ( Nationals) last year except Porgee thou. Haha lama already i know her.

Well this are part of it. I just went through the pics that i took during sport for this few years & it brought back old memories. Know something? I've never really good in netball when i was just a little girl & i used to cry when my mum threw the ball to me. But know, it's like 6 years of netball experiences, went through the state & national levels. Funny, isn't it? It took me a while before i get used of holding the ball & played with it. Then, i began to make friends. This is a way of me expressing my stress sometimes & some people might just don't understand it. I didn't expect too actually. Most of them even asked me to slow down because of the SPM next year. Have to get serious & focus this time because it's freakin SPM. BUT kan.... honestly, i don't know how to slow down. Seriously. Well, because it's my final year & i tend to do the best of it. All out. Never mind laa. Let's not think about that now. Thinking back, i'm actually glad that i never miss to get any medal for all the games i join. This year, my ever best achievement was getting the 'Best Under 18 Player Award' for Netball MSSS at Kota Belud.Never fail to get those kind of award actually since i'm 12.* Ceh, ann perasan. Trying to be modest here, hehe* Now, I just miss them especially Chang & Momoy. I wonder what they're doing now.. Owh wait, i forgot someone. Here..

Yup, Porgee & me.. She might be annoying but know what, i miss her too..

P.s MUM & ERIC coming back tomorrow. Owh yeah. Yeah yeah..

Trying to do something..

Yeah, just change my blog skin. Wasn't very happy with the skin that i've had before because it suddenly became very 'sasat'. So, i'm still trying to edit this one, maybe put some new pics or something to write about. Yeah, so it took me a while to change the skin but at least i got one & it's a better one just like Sulina said. Anyway, this few days, its only gonna be dad & me at home since my mum outstation at KL for work & Eric still in camp. It's been like 2 weeks since i see Eric & ssshhhuuussssh.. I MISS HIM!! Miss arguing with him & now i know, what he feels when i'm not around when i'm somewhere for sports which i always do. Eric, come back home fast. I've done some few things lately & i really have to get my life straight again before 2009. Yes, i must do that. Missing a lot of my buddies now. Trying to clear my mind from things i shouldn't be thinking & just relax.. For goodness sake,it's HOLIDAY! Hopefully everyone's holiday a great one..

Again & AGAIN.

Got tagged again, yes AGAIN by 'mother' of my sasat 'cucu', Jane.. Yeah thats make her my 'anak'. Jane, do tell BLOOP BLOOP, i miss her too & her owner is really no doubt, one loud girl. :) So, here goes, AGAIN.

Rules & Regulations :

#01: - Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

#02: - People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.

#03: - At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

#04: - No tag back!

10 Random Facts of Ann Aletheia A. Manson

1. I dream a lot in becoming someone really great. I dream on having almost everything that i have always wanted anywhere, anytime although it's really impossible.
2. Although i always make a LIST of my plans about anything, it would never actually going to be happen.
3. I suck in taking picture of myself.
4. I always fall in love with the wrong person, most of the time.
5. When my brother & i were little kids, we used to hit on each other while my parents were not at home. We argue a lot over silly stuff.
6. Also when we were little kids, we used to buy titbits such as Smarties, chocolates for ourselves & we will always eat a little by little time to time. We want to beat each other by making sure we're not the one who finish it first. * I feel really lame now*
7. I hate it when someone unknown text me & use a different name.
8. I really can't & don't like the idea of DIET at all. In the sense of starving. I tried once & it doesn't work for me. Food are too good to be resist.
9. I'm very,VERY stuborn. I will argue back if i don't agree on something.
10. I talked & grumbled to myself most of time. People thought i'm insane when i do that but honestly, i really try not to do that in front of people. Especially my parents.

PEOPLE, YOU'RE TAGGED!!
1. Tia
2. Joy
3. Sarah
4. Ryu
5. Nini

Yeah, you people do it ok.. Haha, Jane nah i'm done. :)

Again... :)

Yes, i get tagged again.. And yes, its by my beloved, sasat 'cucu' again, Konea. But well, since lately, i didn't have any inspiration to write here anything in my blog, so i'll just play the game. * heh*


The last person to tag you is?
Konea


What relationship of you with him/her?
School mate, junior, my friend & my 'cucu'. :)


Your 5 impressions towards him/her.
1) sporty
2) pretty.
3) sporting!
4) crappy most of the time.
5) a great person * although she never believe she is*


The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you.
She bought me a smiley little pillow that i called 'Blurp Blurp' during our study trip at KL last year.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will…
crappy just like her & mmm, a gay?? owh that's SOOO not normal, isn't it??.


If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
dissapointed, no doubt.


If he/she becomes your lover , he/she has to improve on..
trusting herself on what a great person she are & also, no doubt, being straight..* hah*


If he/she becomes your enemy , the reason is...
could be because mmm, mmm, i hurt her feelings??


How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Honestly, i guess, most people think that i'm this very show off, selfish person which i'm not because if they just try to get to know me better, i'm actually a very nice person who just deals with life like everybody do.. hey, i'm human too, ok??


The character for you for yourself is?
mmmm active in so many ways depending on the time..


The most ideal person you want to be is?
I just want to myself, in every better way.. I wanted people, my friends to be themselves when they are around me & with that, we can trust each other better as we go on with life. As time passed, they should have known me better than to judge me in a negative way that i'm not.
* That's why you just can't blame me if i have always this doubts about you because i'm just through with EVERYTHING.. *


For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
YOU're just WONDERFUL & really, THANKS for EVERYTHING. That's why ILY!! :)
'Cause i know you're always there for me.. ALWAYS!

Ten unlucky people i tag :P
mmm, here goes..
1. Ning Ning
2. Joshua Ronald
3. Haafiq
4. Jasmine
5. Nazrin OBT
6. Elayne
7. Lloyd
8. Iva
9. Nina
10. Janel


Who is no.2 having relationship with?
haha, dunno.


Is no.3 a female or a male?
Male. :)


If no.7 and no.10 be together would it be a good thing?
Haha i don't think so.. Really..

How about no.5 and 8?
Ok, Luqman is SOOOO gonna kill Naz then.. We don't want that to happen, right?? * Iva, Luq knows Naz.. We're ex-schoolmates, too bad all 3 of us in different schools now.*


What is number 1 studying ?
She's in high school, MS. Same age as I am.


When was the last time you have chat with them?
IU Day, i guess..


Is number 4 a single?
Haha, maybe Jas can said something about that.. :)


Talk something about no.2.
He's one year younger than me. He used to be at the same class with brother way back in primary school. Just finished PMR & hope he'll passed with flying colours. A nice guy.

Haha. sometimes being tagged is just.. mmmm.. nice.. Answering all this questions just makes you think & appreciate all the wonderful things that happened to you.. * ngeh, ann, ann* :)

What If....

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how ways lead on to way,
I doubted if i should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in the wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

By, Robert Frost
( Found in page 11 of Form 4 Literature)

Well, have you ever wonder about the choices that you had made in the past?
Any regrets or lucks? I'm sure most of us have read this poem before. It's about the choice the traveller has to make regarding which road to take to continue his journey. Similarly, it describes the choices people have to make in life. It's actually very difficult to make a choice when both options are attractive, just like choosing the road to travel in the woods. The choice we make will definitely change our steps in life completely.


For a split second, when i read this poem, it makes me ponder deeply about the choices i made long before everything until now. I'm thinking, we always have our choices. What if, before, i choose to

• be an average student, you know, just stay in class & stay focus in my studies just like normal student do?
• wear a normal uniform now to school instead of the brown skirt's uniform?
• go to school everyday & go home early just at the same time?
• suck in sport & not going anywhere like i do now for every single year since primary?
• not accept anything in school that requires the owh-so-great NAME & WORK?
• quiet & leads a simple life?
• be a good average student & also goods in sports as well?
• NOT BE WHAT I AM NOW?
  

You see, there are things that i regret or maybe, just maybe, really fortunate to choose righteously in life. I've always make this thoughts like
" How i wish if i choose that.."
" What if i.."; " Sigh, if only" or " Thank God that i.."
But whatever it is, i learned that past will continue to be past & we can't never turn to back time to change decisions that we done before. What is done is already done and we just have to go throught it. I've been having this regrets that how i wish i have choose the other road instead of the road i'm walking on now.. Haha, silly me.. Anyway, things aren't seems to be what we expected but we learned from mistakes to become better, isn't it? We had our bad & good times. Life is full of excitement for us to be stress out for things. I will try that. For sure, i will always, ALWAYS be MYSELF. Who cares about what other people thinks? I'm just too far to reverse back track anyway. I might will always wonder how's life gonna be if i choose the other track but that's just gonna be a thought of wonders. God bless. :)

A Sunday..

What a day.. But i had a blast. It's actually a very normal Sunday but this Sunday seems one of the best Sunday i ever had. Well, it started off after i get back from my Sunday School class. Its actually my last class ever since i'm not going again for this class next year. I'm not sure if i'm gonna miss it thou since its the same talk every Sunday & i have to admit it is quite boring. Fast forward. My family & i went to help Uncle Lawrence & Aunty Connie to move to their new house. When we get to the old house before moving to the new one, Uncle Lawrence wasn't there. He went to get the lorry & 'lil Kevin was with her aunty at Papar, attending a wedding. Anyway, it's only Aunty Connie & 'lil Chris at the house. So, while waited for Uncle Lawrence, i need something to do. So, this is what i do.
Take picture of little CHRIS JAYDEN XAVIER. My little cousin is so adorable.
Here's another one. He's not even a crying baby. That's really a bonus. :)
My turn to take him from anyone else. Yeahye .. * Ngeh*
Then, Eric's turn. For one weird reason, i really think it's a cute pic. You know, they're having picture together.
But this one, it's a much cuter pic than the other one. Little Chris looks so tiny & Eric, undoubtedly, looks really tall.

So, yeah.. I really like the pictures that Eric took with Chris. Too bad Kevin's not here. Then, we helped them uploaded stuff to their new home sweet home. It's really nice. * Can lose weight if everyday i do this.* We had late lunch & then headed home. After that, around 7, Eric & me went to Stella Marish Parish Hall for our annual Joyful Weekend Gathering night. I only come for the sake of my Comfirmation certificate & of course, my friends. Sat with my Sunday School buddies namely Keshia, Sharlyn, Orlando, Brandon, Woosie & also Alvin, Allen, Tots & Malcolm.
Yeah,i'm really glad Woozie came after like long time i didn't get to see him. It was not a bad night after all. Got to see Eric's class having their slide show presentation & him getting Best Student Award. He seems to be a favourite of Teacher Margaret. My group was really loud & noisy all the time especially when we heard one of our 'friend' do something 'inapproriate'. I don't think i wanna write it here but it was really the joke of the day. We laughed a lot, Brandon ate a lot & we're just crazy. Then. bla bla bla each class performed * some were quite funny* & until the end of the night, then we get our Comfirmation certificate. Alas, we get it & no more Sunday School Class. Or even said " Bah Ann, let's get married. " Haha yeah right. One by one of us leave the church compound until only Woozie, Or & me left. That time, i really thought that they had really became my bestest buddies. They were just so sincere & always try to make me feel better. I can say they are much better friends than most of my friends. We hugged goodbye when my parents reached the church. It makes me realise that after this,
there will be no sunday school class for me & i'm not really gonna hang around with this people again every Sunday. I really used to that calls "Where you, Ann?", we joking around & not listening in the class with all of them. Really, really gonna miss you guys. Hope to see them for the X'mas reunion party for our class at Hugo's.
So, only get to take this one pic. My girlfriends at the Sunday School. Sharlyn, me & Keshia. Too bad didn't get to take pic with my 'boyfriends', Or, Bran & Woozie. That's about it. One relaxful night, not thinking about school at all & what's more, we really had fun.

Holidays & SPM!!

" huuuaaahhhuaaa.." Well, today was the last day of school & boy, what a day.. Everything was in chaos & hate it so much.. I really gave my everything to make sure today's program ran smoothly, but hey, i'm a human too. Easier said than done. That's what i think about the day in school today. Do this & do that. I'm just grateful that i still know where i stand. I'm really having a rough day & things that going on today was really not easy. People was watching me running around the school, making sure that everything that was to be done is the right thing. Whatever la. I don't really care nowadays about what people think. Be in my position & you'll know what i feel. Honestly, i was pissed but no one really seems to realise that which was good. Fortunately, i'm still able to meet most of the Form 5s & took pics with them. I'm really gonna miss most of them & i really wish them all the best in their life. To all Form 5s,

" GOOD LUCK FOR SPM & ALL THE BEST IN LIFE!! "

I'm looking forward for a really, really nice holidays since next year it would be my turn having the big exam next year & like i've said before, one year is not a very long time. Gosh, i'm gonna be a FORM 5 already, a SENIOR!! Woow!! Maybe i'm just quite stunned with the whole thing being a senior & all. Well, that' life, right? We just have to deal with it. Most of my girlfriends absent today too. Only Mo, Anna, Chelle & Iris showed up. I've expected that. So, everyone..


Happy hols 'ya all!! God bless.

I've been tagged!

Sasat Konea tagged me. Well yeah i'm doing this for the sake of being tagged. Just for fun after doing my Physics report. So here goes,

Your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I will be quiet & try not to think about it. Especially all the sweet memories we had before. It will be just memories & hopefully, i can try to get over it quickly although i know it's very hard.

What will your dream wedding be like?
A day where everyone i care & love will be there to witness & share the greatest chapter of my life, where i start a new beginning in my life with the person i love. * ngeh*

On your wedding day, what would you like to see?
The smile or maybe tears on everyone's face. Especially 'him'. Or my family.

Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
No. I just really forward on what's ahead.

What's your ideal lover like?
Caring, funny, optimistic, adventurous, open-minded, sasat, know how to adapt in the situation & someone who always there for me whenever i needs him.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Be myself & do nothing.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Situations in school & home. Expectations are too much.

How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Not sure actually. Maybe working, hooking up with someone & planning a marriage life. :)

Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family.

Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
rich and single. No doubt about this one.

What's the first thing you do every morning?
open my eyes, look around me & make sure that i'm in the real world.

Would you give all in a relationship?
I don't know. Honestly, it depends.

If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
That would be the one who really cares about me & accepts who i are. Someone who always ready to listen to me & share his stuff *even the silliest thing ever* with me. Someone who really loves me & whom i love more compare to the other one.

What type of friends do you like?
Friends who's not afraid of being themselves when dealing with everyone. True friends.

What type of friends do you dislike?
backstabbing friends. Especially those who talked behind anyone's back.

Are you a virgin?
YES! Of course i am!!

Have you ever lied to your parents?
Umm hmm, yes.

What did you lie about?
Prefer not to remember, talk about it as it really will make me feel guilty.

Currently, are you having any crush on anyone?
Umm hmm yup.

Hint about him / her?
Seems very near but yet, seems so far.

Do you think the guy / girl knows?
Nope. Maybe. Dunno.

What phrases you usually say when something unexpected happens?
Gosh!

What annoys you the most?
My brother.

What is your current obssesion?
Food.

Who do you short text the most these days?
Fharell. Nick. Porgee.

Who do you miss a lot now?
Grandpapa.

Which secondary school friend you miss the most right now?
My beloved seniors. The gang. Sasau, Lynz, Popo, Tyng Tyng, Laura, Churl & not forgetting Pungit & Eileen.

Who do you idolize now?
Umm really? Can't think of anyone.

Best girl friends?
Haha duh. My 11 friends. Not forgetting Jane, Sul & Becks.

Best boy friends?
Or & Bran. Maybe even Nick.

Biggest fear?
Cockroaches & 'jambatan gantung'. * Don't laugh"

Favourite hang out place?
' Kampung'.

If you were to go out with a group of friends, who will you choose?
Netball mates namely Momoy, Chang & Mel. Too bad. They very far.

Made any new friends recently?
Yeah. :)

What kind of mood are you in most of the time?
An 'ok' mood.

Do you like the person who tagged you?
Owh yeah, my 'cucu'. Haha a very crappy girl. :d

So Now, now i'm gonna tagged :

• NO ONE!!!

* I can't think of anyone now. & yeah Konea, i know, training wanna start already. And tomorrow the TID test. Haha. Whatever la.*